Fighting Fate

Sooooo, heard of my character Esmeralda? No? Humph. That sucks. Well, you have now. Funny how that works, eh? Here's a piece of her mysterious past. Enjoy~

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“Esmeralda? Esmeralda Norwood, snap out of it.”
A mind sharply presses against mine, swiping away my defenses like air and tugging my thoughts back to the present. I flinch, rubbing my temples and staring up at my hook-nosed teacher as he hovers over me. I stare up at that nose, trying to clear my mind so he doesn’t see my amusement at its shape, but it’s pointless. He has complete control over me.
“Esmeralda, eyes forward. If I see you look out that window one more time, it’s a lashing for you.”
I refrain from flinching at that threat and keep my eyes trained steadily forward, staring emptily past his elbow which sits at my eye level. I’m not about to defy him after that. His threats aren’t threats, they are promises.
“I’m sorry, Master,” I speak, my voice bored.
In truth, I’m not bored. I’m scared. Scared, reluctant, and helpless. And he knows this. He keeps a firm hold on my mind, allowing me no wiggle room to block my thoughts. I have no privacy. With this grip he knows my exact thoughts, feelings, and dirty little secrets. He knows I don’t want to do my next assisment. He knows how much I detest my ability, him, and this class. He now even knows I snuck into the kitchen last night and stole a bite of the chef’s hidden dry meat. He knows everything. And there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m weak.
Welcome to my personal hell. Welcome to the cult.
Tonight, because of my inability to keep my thoughts, the chef will receive five lashings. The staff, the servants, and my siblings and I will be gathered to observe as he gets his due. Five lucky clan members will get to participate in this, one delivering each blow. There is a reason behind this; a very, very intentional message-no one has your back once you turn it against the clan, or its ways. Disobeying the law is not tolerated. Being picked as a whip bearer is an honor. It’s your chance to show your allegiance to the clan and reinforce the message stated above. As the unwilling rat, the person to turn him in, I get the automatic honor of the first blow. The prospect makes me sick. But… he deserves it, and I shall count myself lucky if I do not find myself receiving the lashings besides him.
Eating meat is forbidden.

The dread of tonight and those lashing come and go in a flash. It’s barely a passing thought, one which I quickly dismiss. It’s a weak feeling, one I don’t want him to have access to. Besides, I have more pressing matters on hand. Like how to get of today’s lesson.



Out of the corner of my eye I see him glare down at me; eyes sharp and nearly black behind raggedy strands that obscure half his face. I don’t meet the glare; instead I stare at the gray stoned wall ten feet away. A tapestry covers half the section. From floor to the ceiling it hangs, towering well over my head. Gold and green symbols adorn the thick cloth- the clans crest. Its purpose is to insulate the walls and keep out the cold. My mother use to joke it was the wall’s blanket.

Bent over and breathing heavily besides an oval window is a girl. Her hair is knotted and clothes torn. Dirt cakes her face, held there by dried blood and I can’t help but to feel pity. She’s not one of my siblings or even a peer. She’s an outcast, a slave, and today my guinea pig.

“Focus.,” he snaps again, feeling where my thoughts were heading. A sharp jab and reinforced pain affectively pulls me back to the present, and I glance up at him.
“Listen here, girl, your uncle left you in my care with specific instructions to train you. If you want to be a Mind Reaper, you have to reap.” He grabs my chin, his grip hard and skin rough as he jerks me to look at the girl, barely past her 17th year. “Do you want to end up like her, hm?”
I stare at her and she stares back. Behind the dirt and the empty eyes I see the ghost of the girl who once was accepted as one of our own. But any pride or dignity she once possessed has long been beaten out of her. Now she stands there, shoulders turned in and face hollow. She stares at me with this look… this silent plea for death…
“No,” I whisper, unable to drop my eyes from the girl's. No, I do not want to become like her. But I don’t want to become a Reaper either.
“So stop resisting your training, dammit.” He releases my chin and steps back, eyeing us both. “Now, let’s try this again. Clear your thoughts and become her.
Become her… right. I swallow hard and nod, shooting the girl an apologetic look before propelling myself into her mind.
Become her… become her…
I let myself meld into her thoughts and then suddenly I am her.
It’s my sixteenth birthday, to the day, and I’m fighting for my life. I’m entering the clan initiation, I’m strong, I’m ready. I know what to expect and I can do this. Except… things don’t go as planned. I fall… I smash my head. I can’t think clearly and I don’t pass.
I curl into a ball, shame washing over me. I’ve failed. I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting for the mandatory death when… it never comes. No, instead I’m disowned and shunned. I’m sent to the diseased clan leader’s house to serve his daughters as they train for the very test I failed.
I’m her.

I flail and pull back from her head, it’s all too much. I can't and won't do this. I let out a shaky breath, finding myself with my own thoughts again, not hers. I’m panting and my cheeks are pressed to the cool polished floor as a blow knocks me down.
“You know what this means, Esmeralda.” His voice brushes against my ear and I can feel him kneeling close by my side, his cloak brushing my arm. “By refusing this, you know his orders.”
His orders… He means my uncles; my possible fiancé. Yes, yes I know his orders. I am reminded them every day. Train. Train and become a Mind Reaper. Learn control over your powers so you can work for me, marry me, and cause pain, just like me.
Well, I don’t want to become like him. I don’t want my lot and I certainly don’t want to cause that girl anymore pain. I don’t want my powers. I don’t want this fate. And if turning my back on my inheritance means they kill me… so be it.
“…Yes…” I whisper to the floor, each proceeding second feeling painstakingly slow . “I know…”
He sighs, exasperation setting in as he roughly seizes my mind again.
“Very well. You’ll break, they all do.” I swear, I hear a touch of compassion in his voice before the pain rushes forward, and I’m her.

The Note

Griffin,
I don’t know how we’ve been fooling ourselves. But this… Us… It’s not working.
We can’t fight fate. And the more we do… the more danger we’re putting each other in.
I love you. So much. But I won’t have you die for me. I can’t… I’d rather never see you again, I rather marry /him/, and you live. Than love you, and you die.
We’ve been such fools. We’ve been trying to carve ourselves a new future together where no future lies. Not one without death.
Orion won’t hurt you if you never see me again. There’ll be no price on my head and no reason for you to die.
Mason won’t kill me if I give in. There’ll be no chasing, no running.
No more death.
So, I’m going back to him. If you come for me he’ll see through my lies. They will kill us both, so please… see that this is the best, and only way.
I’m doing this for us… I love you…
Es

....Dude, I'm like...so sad right now.

Griffin: ...................... ._.