The Gender Bender

Crickette

"A'right, Mark, joke's over." I watched the panic in his eyes with equal concern. "Let's just relax, or something o' th' sort; it's th' break room! Let's take a break from th' jokes for a while, a'right? Aye, pie and coffee!"

. . . Nope! The odd feeling hadn't left yet.

'Mark'
"N-no, seriously, guys... if this is a joke, this is... too far. My hair..." I trailed off, my hand still running through my short hair compulsively like I could just magically find the rest of it /that/ way. "Seriously..."

Crickette

"Honest t' th' grave, your 'air's always been like that, Mark." I kept waiting for him to crack up and say that he was just kidding. Please.

Mark
"Who the hel- you know what? Never mind..." I made a noise of frustration. "It was long, and you guys /know/ that." A pause as I searched their faces, trying to peg what was so off about this situation, other than the hair. "Like... my... mom's..." I breathed the last part out under my breath, hoping this wasn't some really unfunny joke. Because seriously, I wasn't laughing.

Crickette

" . . . A'right." I nudged Mark off my lap, again wondering why he was there in the first place, and took center stage in front of the room . . . mainly in front of, Petra and Mark, watching their faces. "Whoever's joking, say so now! I've got t' make sure that we're all real serious right this moment, or else we're all going t' go on babbling like a bunch o' idiots without a clue. Are we all serious? B'cause I'm serious!"

Dora
My little brother's girlfriend, the bug, stepped into the middle of the room. Then she proceeded to babble about... something or other, I wasn't quite sure. She was being very cryptic, not that I ever spent much time trying to decipher whatever nonsense she and Mark usually spouted.
Then I noticed a tiny feeling. A small, creeping, persistent feeling of something being wrong. I dismissed it, though, turning my attention back to my new brass knuckles, wondering who I would be able to use them on, first...

Speedy
I took a sip of my coffee, looking at the girl... er... Crickette, right? Yea, I think that's it. Hadn't the slightest clue what she was talking about, though, so I stayed silent.

Crickette

Aaaand no one said anything. I actually stood up there, imitating cricket chirps. Alright. Perfect.

"Aye, see, see there? No one said anything! We're all serious 'ere. So can we all agree that this is all not a complete joke? Lovely. Now!" I whistled something matter-of-factly, trying to get my thoughts together . . . was I pacing? Ah well. I played it up, walking up and down like the leader of an army. "Speaking as a lass who usually goes with 'er gut, I can say without a doubt that my gut is talking like there's something completely odd about this room right now. Something's backwards. Something's not right. Am I alone in this?" I whirled back to face Mark. "You sir! You're acting a bit confused as of late. What're your thoughts, soldier?"

May as well have some fun with this.

'Mark'
"Well, Sir... er... Ma'am... whatever the heck you are now... I think that-" I cut myself off as inspiration struck. Then I turned away from the others and glanced down my pants for half a second, just to assure myself that-

Well that was certainly new.

I turned back around, feeling completely awkward "I think that I'm willing to listen to this whole 'Mark' thing now, 'cause I swear I honestly officially have no idea what's going on"

Crickette

I raised an eyebrow. Ah, he really was confused. Alright. Well, I didn't skip to the conclusion that he was crazy just yet, not with this odd feeling.

"And there you 'ave it." I gave him a last look before I resumed pacing. "Poor Mark 'ere is either a gender confused crazy person, or 'e's onto something! Now, I'm not sure about th' likes o' all o' you, but I still 'ave a backwards feeling about all o' this, plus a few other clues that all point in th' same direction. Now 'ow long 'as it been since any o' you 'ave been in th' Break Room, hm? Weeks? Months? Never? Now 'ow much of a coincidence would it be that out o' th' blue, we all decide t' pay th' old room an old visit . . . in th' same week, day, hour? You know what it sounds like t' me? Author manipulation!" I stopped dead-center and nodded, glancing around to see people's reactions.

Dora
Mark? Gender confused? Er... that's... interesting.
I would let Alex deal with this one, if push came to shove. Then Crickette went off on some other tirade about some sort of conspiracy, and I raised an eyebrow

"What are you suggesting, exactly?" I asked harshly "Are you honestly jumping to such an absurd conclusion- that the authors have tampered with our /genders/- based on the half formed delusional ramblings of my brother, and a
gut feeling'?!" Mark, apparently, hadn't noticed my presence until now, because just for the shortest of moments, he looked afraid. Then he just looked confused.

"You're a girl now too?!"
"..." I didn't validate that with a response, and soon, Mark burst out laughing.

Crickette

I was about to answer to that, and then Mark piped up. "See?" I gestured at Mark and his laughing fit, then continued. "Aye, it's an absurd conclusion, b'cause authors themselves are absurd. Don't you get it? Answer honestly. On any normal day, would you even think about coming 'ere t' th' Break Room? And suddenly, we're all 'ere! People only conveniently show up near each other when th' plot calls for it, and when there's a lot o' characters that find themselves clustered in some odd place, it's always b'cause there's a new chat! All those chats in th' 'Your' section start th' same way."

Dora
"I actually have a legitimate reason for being here today" I said, my voice having a slight edge to it to cover up any other weaknesses. "But... I suppose you have a point." I admitted, looking at my still-laughing brother "And if you do not cease that in the next thirty seconds, I am going to test what kind of impact these knuckles make on your face" That silenced him fairly quickly.

Awwwww butbut DAMIA.....

I dont knowhow shes going to react to all of that! *FLAILS*

Willow

I grinned, looking up at Jamie. He looked...different...I couldn't place my finger on it. Just then a thin girl with messy blonde hair pulled up and a note book came over and sat on Jamie's lap. Really...does the person who I /replaced; have to exist?!

Jamie
LIKE HOLY CHEESE I FELT WEIRD....

But I always felt weird, probably just some bad tacos or something....

Then I felt some random body on my lap and was all like "WTF." Then I looked up and saw Ezra, and I smiled. Then I looked over at Willow, WAITHEDIDN'TKNOWABOUT THIS.

Talk about awkward...er....

"Hi Ezra." I said, glancing at Willow, then Ezra, Willow, Ezra, Willow, Ezra.

Then I heard that one girl, Crickette rambling about authors and such. I didn't really listen though. I mean, who doesn't ramble about authors every once in awhile.

Hunter
I lurked in the shadows, watching all the characters talk, and laugh, and socialize like their annoying selves. I despised everything here on this wretched planet...but I had to stay here and kidnap my supposed brother back. Why couldn't mom and dad do it? They hated me, that's why. I continued to rant in my mind, watching Jamie as some girl sat on his lap.

Willow

GJSODKFNDDJDK

Ezra. The freakin' werido, who was also known as the pacifist. The one who freaking' tarnished /my/ reputation before I was created. I sat back, crossing my arms.

Ezra

I smiled at Jamie, trying to get my bangs out of my face. Leaning against him, I continued to scribble down notes. I saw Willow's displeasure, but honestly....I could care less.

Well...this was awkward.

Jamie
"SO." I said, trying to break the silence between us three. It was so awfully awkward. I had to say something to start a conversation. Wait...crap...what was I going to say? Um...SOMETHING OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD....

"How 'bout that airline food?"

Damia
So...what? I sort of just tuned out the girl's sudden urge to ramble. And ramble and ramble...
Yup, something off. My arms were still crossed over my chest, comfortable weight of my katana on my back. Normal Robin suit that was /mine/ and not some other poor excuse for a sidekick. Ah, wait. Found it.
"Would you SHUT UP and stop MOANING ABOUT LIFE ALREADY?" I interrupt the conversation of the general group. GOD they were worse than DRAKE.
"So pussies got swapped for dicks and vice versa... Not that hard to figure out authors are messing with us..."
Case in point: skirt. Really, BW.... /really/? This is so inefficient and impractical its not even funny! I'm a damn ASSASSIN, not some horribly done obviously-made-by-men Japanese manga...

Willow

"Wait, what do you....?" I asked, turning to look at the girl named Damia. Hadn't it always been like this?!

Ezra

"Airline food? Is that all you could think of?" I grinned, resting my head on Jamie's shoulder.

Damia
"If I were to address you, obnoxious bitch, it'd be defeating the purpose of the 'Break' Room. Therefore your menial existance goes ignored," I mutter, not looking over to Willow. As if trying to train her into an okay fighter wasn't stressful enough... Now I had to deal with stupid questions... I meant what I meant, I'm not going to repeat myself.

T.Morticia:

So... I didn't see anything wrong with being a girl really... because... I had always been a girl... so... I mean.... what is there to get upset about?

I mean, Makr had always been Mark, Crickette had always been Crickette, and all those other people had always been... uhm... all those other people.

Nothing really... to... worry about.

Though, I mean... Alright... authors were... themselves, so... er.

Some girl I'd sometimes seen in the box was yelling at someone I vaguely knew as 'Willow' about shutting up and not whining. ...Ok then...

I looked around for Riddle because, well... he could be a bit of a wild card about... Everything.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE CAN'T ALL JUST GET OVER IT AND HUG LLAMAS ANYWAY. I MEAN, THEY'RE STILL FUZZY! AND... LLAMA SHAPED. PROBABLY. I MEAN, I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT LLAMAS ARE, BUT... THEY SOUND LIKE THEY WOULD BE FUZZY. EVEN THEIR INTESTINES WOULD BE FUZZY. I WOULD LOVE TO JUST SHUT UP ABOUT FEMALE RIGHTS AND HUG SOME FUZZY INTESTINES!" He ranted... from... standing on top of the back of one of the sofas.

...I should probably tell him to get down. "Riddle... I don't... I don't think that you should..er... be.. up there..." I stated kind of quietly.

"MRRH MORTICIA. I CAN STAND WHERE EVER I WANT. BECAUSE IF I FALL I WILL BE LONG DIVISION." He replied as though...that was... obvious. erm. Well. Alright then.

Damia
Hug llamas? There weren't any llamas in Gotham, and if there were I wouldn't participate in such a menial thing...
But whatever. The way the authors had it, I always believed myself to be a girl. They would just tire of this and all of this would just be old news... It was only in this room, after all. How much fun could they have with just leaving us in the room talking? It would get old fast. Ill indulge in this for now, I suppose...
Llamas were still out...

Crickette

Well, alright, that had been odd. Then again, Riddle was just odd in general, and Dora was still Dora, and--

Wait a moment. I almost forgot. Things were not like they always were in general, because apparently, I used to be a guy. To be frank, I felt duped! It would be lovely to be a guy. I was already an Outlander down in Luna, and being a lass made it worse. Perhaps people would respect me a bit more . . . just perhaps. "Just . . . because! As long as we're 'ere, in this chat like this, and don't do anything, nothing will change. So per'aps th' authors get bored, and leave it alone. We'll still be frozen 'ere like this until th' chat goes int' th' void unless we do something. Being a lass . . . not particularily fond of it."

Petra

"I still don't like just assuming things," I said with a bit of distaste. "I mean, yeah, it's a possibility, but...I dunno, I hate following an idea without solid evidence." I paused. "Maybe we could find the authors themselves and ask them?"

If there was one thing that made me uneasy, it was blind faith. I liked having something stable to stand on.