The Soldier and The Dreamtalker

Kinley

I watched him, blinking with heavily eyelids. A grin played on my lips as every movement seemed to flow past me in slow motion — I wasn't sure if this was a side effect of the drugs, or if it was caused by the feelings for Jake that were bubbling up in my chest. I was almost hyper-aware of every place where our skin touched; of where his eyes fell on me; of the fact that we were so close, I could almost feel the vibration in his chest and throat and jaw as he spoke.

There was a dropping feeling in the pit of my stomach as he brushed his lips against my cheeks and spoke in hushed tones. I released a slow sigh and reached forward, resting a hand on the side of his neck; I could feel his pulse just underneath the pads of my fingers, and I smiled. This boy... This gorgeous boy had me.

I breathed out his name, my eyes fluttering shut as I did so. At this point, my entire body was overwhelmed with a tingling sensation, shooting small bolts of electricity through me in the places where our skin connected. I wasn't sure how much of this I would remember in the morning, but none of that mattered. All that mattered was Jake and how badly I ached to be even closer to him.

Jake 

I let go of Kinley's hand with one of my own, feeling absentmindedly for her other to give it a light squeeze before resting it on the back of her neck. I brushed a few more kisses over her face, trailing down to her mouth — but I stopped just before kissing her properly, the side of my nose pressed against hers. I pulled back a little to look at Kinley. 

My breathing was uneven, ragged; I squeezed my eyes shut for a second as I tried to sound more in control than I felt, then opened them again. She was out of focus with proximity. "Kinley, are we—?" I asked, still sounding breathless despite my efforts. "I don't wanna do anything you're not — I mean, I know what you said earlier, but if you've changed your mind..." I trailed off, twirling a lock of the shorter hair at the nape of her neck around my finger. "That's okay too."

Kinley

I leaned in to meet his lips, but stopped abruptly when he didn't kiss me. Frowning, I opened my eyes and tilted my head to the side, watching him as he spoke. I released a laugh when he stated his concerns, reaching up to place my hand over his near my neck. Very carefully, I guided his hand to rest against the side of my neck, and then leaned in to brush my lips up against his.

"I'm always up for it," I said softly, forcing myself to even out my breathing, which had started to go a little fast in excited anticipation. "As long as you are, too, then don't hold back. I won't either." I released a breathy laugh.

Jake 

The tension in my muscles melted away all at once at Kinley's response. I grinned and kissed her again, deeper this time, brushing her hair back as I did so. "No holding back, then," I replied, sitting up fully to put an arm around her, other hand still tangled in her hair. 

(( Okaaay, timeskip? ))

(( Timeskip! ))

Kinley

My long, stoned night with Jake was something way too intimate to share with anybody but ourselves.  As I had fallen asleep beside him, half-clothed, it was as if I could still feel his breath against my skin and his lips against my skin and his hands against my skin.  The tingling, electrical feeling they left behind and the remenents of the drug in my system lulled me to sleep easily.  

It was only when I awoke in the early hours of the morning to see him asleep beside me that the realization of what had happened finally kicked in.  I slept off the high, and my mind was back to its usual thought process: 'You got too high last night', 'Jake is a very emotional boy and you just hooked up with him', 'you had sex with Jake', and finally, 'you're going to break his heart'.

Very carefully, trying my absolute hardest not to disturb Jake, I got up, gathered clothes, and hurried downstairs without a second look back to see if he had awoken.  I knew it wasn't exactly the most friendly thing to do to somebody, but I had my reasons for doing so.  If Jake were to wake up, I would hopefully be out of the room by then — a couple of early-risers would've been downstairs in the kitchen, but the building would otherwise be eerily quiet.

I changed downstairs in one of the bathrooms, not bothering to take a shower (I was going to be training later anyways, so what was the point in having to take more than one?) or help out the other early-risers with making breakfast.  Instead, I slipped out the back door and walked around the corner to the large, fenced in training area.  

Propped up against the chain-link fence were three very large wooden boards, tarnished by dirt and graffiti.  In front of each were old, stand-up punching bags; after doing some warm-ups to loosen up my muscles and get my heart into gear, I began kickboxing.  This was my favourite activity to when training, as the force I used to throw punches and kicks at the bag got out all of my built-up frustrations.  And man, was I frustrated.

Jake

I wasn't sure, at first, what woke me up; I was a light sleeper, and even a draft blowing the wrong way could stir me. I pressed the heels of my hands into my still shut eyes, arching my back with a quiet sound to pop the stiffness out my spine. I relaxed back down onto the mattress and, after a few minutes more, finally opened my eyes. I didn't immediately recognise my surroundings. And then, as the memories of the previous night slowly rejoined my consciousness, I did. 

Holy shit, I thought. 

"Holy shit," I said. 

I sat up, pushing a hand through my hair (which, I could feel, was even worse than messier than usual, although I didn't know if that was from sleep or — holy shit, I thought again). The space beside me was vacant; Kinley's footsteps must have been what woke me up. I wasn't wearing more than my underwear; a brief wave of illogical embarrassment washed over me at the thought that Kinley had seen me in only my boxer briefs. I covered my face with my hands and gave a small, disbelieving laugh. 

Hauling myself to my feet, I collected my clothes and pulled them on. It felt like the careless creases in my shirt and skewness to my hoodie were a dead giveaway of what had happened the previous night, but I reminded myself that no one here was likely to give a crap. Hands in pockets and cheeks feeling ever so slightly warm, I walked out the room to find Kinley.

Congratulations, Jake! The three people that were awake and busy in the kitchen really didn't care that you and Kinley hooked up — they expected it to happen, after all. Instead, they briefly glanced up at you, and then nodded towards the back door, not saying anything other than maybe a mumbled "good morning".

Kinley

I was angry with myself for letting that happen. I mean... I really enjoyed it — Jake was an impressive shag — but that only made me feel worse. He was attractive, and one thing lead to another, and we went all the way; I mean, none of that was his fault, really. I just didn't want him to develop feelings for me that were more than friendship, but it occurred to me after some thought that my usual trying-to-keep-distance-by-being-a-toy plan may not have the same impact on Jake. He was Jake, after all.

With every hit to the punching bag, I felt my frustration lessen. That was, until I noticed Jake exit the building. It hadn't occurred to me previously that it would've ben fairly easy to tell that I wasn't inside — only three other people were awake when I had left. My heart began to beat even harder than it was from the physical exercise, and I swallowed hard; I even considered darting behind one of the wooden planks to hide, but I wasnt a coward, and I was going to have to face him eventually. Instead, I continued to work out, trying to keep my mind focussed on the single-person fight.

Jake

I nodded my greeting to the three I found in the kitchen, then headed outside, leaning against the wall to watch Kinley for a bit. My skin felt tingly and sensitive beneath my clothes; I was pleasantly hyperaware of the fabric moving over my it as I breathed. While getting dressed, I had noticed more than a few bruises and scratches covering my body — and certain memories of the previous night made me doubt they were from falling out the tree alonne. 

I ran my hand through my hair again and pushed off the wall, walking down to where Kinley was giving one hell of a beating to a punching bag. "Mornin'," I said. Instinct told me to kiss her cheek in greeting, but what little common sense I had stored away in a reserve somewhere kept me from doing so. It wouldn't exactly help my case in proving that I could control my emotions. "Sleep well?"

Kinley

When Jake walked over and spoke to me, I gave so hard a kick to the punching bag that the entire thing went toppling over.  I stood there for a few moments, breathing heavily and staring down at the dirt as I did so; eventually, I swallowed hard and hoisted the bag upright again, breathing out a firm answer to Jake's question.  "Fine, thanks."

I didn't want to look at him; I couldn't look at him.  My thoughts offered up the idea that maybe if I was cold enough, he would leave me alone.  But...  Something inside of me didn't want that to happen, and I couldn't tell if it was because of my fear of abandonment, or some other unknown force.  Nevertheless, he was here, and I had to try my best to remain level-headed, even if that meant giving abrupt answers to anything that he said.

Against my will, my thoughts wandered off towards what had happened last night, and my body was once more overwhelmed with the memories of his bare skin on my bare skin.  I bit down on my lip, but didn't dismiss the thoughts — if I could go back, I would, but now that I was sober...  Things felt different, and my chest got tight as I realized how vulnerable my emotions had been last night.

Jake

I tipped my chin up slightly as Kinley kicked over the punching bag, only not reaching to pick it up because of survival instincts telling me that too sudden a move could possibly result in the next kick connecting with my head. 

I lowered myself to sit down on the ground, watching Kinley's muscles shift beneath her skin with each movement; automatically, my brain tried to reconcile my knowledge of anatomy with my newly-acquired knowledge of Kinley's in particular. Mortified, I quickly changed my train of thought before my face could flush to reflect it. 

I didn't exactly need superpowers to sense Kinley's hostility; normally, I would have left her be, but by now I was wary of taking things by face value. I knew from experience that Kinley's most visible emotions weren't necessarily her only ones. I twirled the drawstring of my hoodie around my index finger. 

"I'm not in love with you," I said bluntly, "and I'm not gonna fall in love with you, and I'm not gonna use anything from last night against you, and we don't hafta ever talk about it again if you don't wanna." I stood up and placed a hand on the top of the punching bag, my hair falling in my eyes defiantly. "Want me to hold it in place so it doesn't fall over again?"

Kinley

I inhaled sharply when Jake spoke, pausing in my movements to purse my lips together and glance up at him. He was standing beside the punching bag, towering over everything like he almost always did, and I almost felt the urge to climb onto something just so I wouldn't feel so small anymore. I watched him in complete silence as he spoke, absently shifting from foot to foot in a fighting stance; it wasn't until a few moments later that I snapped out of it and straightened out.

I took a few steps closer to him and very carefully took hold of the hand by his side. It was warm to the touch, and the size difference between us still continued to baffle me. Then, after gently running my thumb across the back of his hand, I gave a firm tug on his arm, trying my hardest to pull him down to eye level with me. If we were going to talk about this, we were going to be eye to eye.

I had always been a somewhat confrontational person; calling people out on their bullshit was something that I almost automatically did nowadays. There were only a few instances where I wouldn't speak up, and they either involved my feelings for somebody or a dangerous situation. So they were basically more or less the same thing.

Jake 

My heart did a ridiculous, unwarranted little stutter when Kinley took my hand. I looked down at where she ran her thumb across it with what I thought must have been a startlingly similar expression to the one she'd worn the previous night when I'd done the same. 

Her pulling me down to her level was both expected and not — it was a very Kinley action, but the contrast of her prior gentleness caused surprise still. I let her move me easily, putting up no resistance, but my heart gave another falter at how close we suddenly were with the foot and a half of height difference removed. I forced myself not to dwell on it, dragging my eyes away from where they'd fallen to Kinley's lips. 

"So..." I said, trying to keep my voice level. "Is that a no to the punching bag offer?"

Kinley

A hint of amusement shone in my eyes when I saw Jake's expression to me touching his hand and then pulling him close.  It may be a bad thing, but I enjoyed it when I could tell boys' hearts were doing flips or they were squirming underneath my touch.  And Jake was certainly... a squirmer, as I had recently discovered.

Speaking in a quiet but firm voice, I told Jake of my idea.  "I have a proposal for you, Jake," I purposefully breathed out his name, a smirk tugging at the corners of my mouth.  "If you can keep your emotions in line, then we can be friends with benefits."  I released a laugh at how dumb a term that sounded — at least it was better than fuckbuddies.  

Before I pulled away from him, I leaned in close enough for him to go out of focus in my vision.  Brushing my lips lightly against his, I breathed out: "Be careful."  

Quickly, I turned on my heel and walked over to three particularly large trees on the edge of the training grounds, taking my knives off of my belt and standing just behind a thick black painted line on the ground.  One by one, I threw the knives, each one zooming through the air and sticking into the centre of the tree with impressive accuracy.

Jake

What Kinley said did not process immediately. In fact, it took a good few minutes just to find my brain — which then did a pretty piss-poor job of dissecting exactly what that had meant. 

I touched my fingertips to my lips, head tilted to the side. Then, still bewildered, I jogged to catch up with Kinley. "Friends with benefits," I said, stopping for a moment when she threw a knife at a tree. I waited until she was done, my body buzzing with unsure energy. "You mean, like — we do that again, what we did last night? But still just as friends? Wanna make sure that means the same thing in your dictionary as it does in mine." 

This had not been what I was expecting. It seemed more likely that, somewhere between falling asleep last night and now, she'd suddenly lost all ability to speak English and was now reciting a mishmash of alien vowels. I had assumed that what had happened would become a taboo of sorts to be stored away as a new episode of Bad Teenage Decisions or Jake is Promiscuous When Intoxicated and never spoken of again. A high mistake. 

Although, if I thought about it, it wasn't something I'd regard as a mistake. I was concerned about Kinley — if I had fucked things up between us, made her think all I cared about was getting into her pants — but it certainly hadn't felt bad. Hand still in my pocket, I rubbed my thumb over a spot on my hip where I could feel a very specifically finger-shaped bruise blossoming on the skin. 

It had been quite the opposite of bad, actually.

Kinley

"Basically, yeah," I said with a shrug, walking over to the tree and yanking my knives out. I went back over to the line I was standing behind previously and continued to repeat the process. Line up, steady, throw; line up, steady, throw; line up, and steady, and throw. The idea of Jake and I being friends with benefits was an interesting one — spending last night with him definitely proved to be one of the best nights I've had with somebody in a long while.

After my third knife flew through the air and stuck into the tree, I turned around to face him, arms folded over my chest. "You know that boy — the one I lifted the spliff from? His name is Wen, and he was my previous one. You, however, are way better than him, but I'm scared of commitment and people falling in love with me 'cause things could go to shit at any moment." I bit down hard on my lip and watched the bewildered look on his face.

I figured that my idea would come up as nothing short of batshit insane, but there it was, hanging in the air between us like thick fog — my thoughts were dragged back to the previous night, and how the smoke of the joint filled up our breathing space. Essentially, we had hotboxed the room, and right now — even though we were outside — it felt as if I was breathing in warm smoke. Something burst inside of me, and a tingling sensation erupted from my joints, causing me to give an involuntary shiver.

Jake 

I didn't exactly know how to respond to that compliment; I'd never received one like it before. So, I did the manly thing and blushed. "Uh, thanks," I said, rubbing the back of my neck and ducking my head a little sheepishly. It occurred to me now that I'd never actually known if I was good in bed or not — for all I knew, I could have been atrocious. I was thankful that this was the first I'd heard of it. "You don't think Wen'll mind?" 

I hesitated a moment. I could keep myself from falling in love with Kinley, I was sure, but it would be new terrain for me — last night had been the first time I'd ever hooked up with someone I wasn't in a relationship with. But then again... Kinley was my best friend; I wanted to make her happy in any way that I could, and if that entailed repeats of what we had done — well, that was precisely the opposite of a hardship.

"Okay," I said finally. "Okay. No L-word. Got it. Wen'll be okay with this?"

Kinley

I released a laugh at Jake's concern about Wen, saying, "Wen'll be too high to care. 'Sides, we're getting tired of each other anyways." It was more like I was getting tired of him, as Wen was the type of guy to go into an extreme state of euphoria — unlike any you could get from drugs — whenever he had sex. It was good sex, to be honest, but it had lost its edge for a while before Jake and I hooked up.

Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my tin of cigarettes and lit one, then pulled my knives out of the tree and tucked them back into their holsters on my belt. If Jake was going to follow me around like a puppy dog all day, he was going to have to work. Walking up to him, I exhaled a thin stream of smoke, and flicked my ashes in his direction. I had to tilt my head back to see him, but I still held my ground and stared up at his bright green eyes.

"If you're staying in my world, you're doing work too, Jake."

Jake 

I gave a vague nod of understanding, distracted by the situation finally in. Friends with benefits. Friends with benefits with Kinley. I had made a formal arrangement to platonically but regularly sleep with Kinley.

Less than a day ago, she had been pointing a gun at me and snapping at me for falling out a tree and scaring her. Between that and now, we had got high, slept together, and made a plan do do that an indefinite amount of times more. The whole situation, to my rather tired brain, seemed surreal; a giddy laugh of bewilderment bubbled up in me, and while I managed to restrain it, I still gave what I imagined must have been a very dopey grin. 

"Work, I repeated, somewhat dazedly. "I can do work." I paused, then ducked down to test the limits of this new agreement, pressing a brief kiss to Kinley's lips before drawing back to give her a questioning look.

Kinley

I rolled my eyes at how dazed Jake looked, and gestured vaguely to a grey and dirty tent-building just off to the side of the apartment buildings and a few feet away from the fence surrounding the training grounds, which we were currently standing. "Pick out a gun from in there. Dad may question you, but just tell 'im you know me and you should be oka—" I was cut off by Jake's lips on mine.

He was kissing me again. I felt something begin to beat hard against my chest and my cheeks flushed; I was frozen in place and didn't react fast enough to kiss him back, no matter how much I wanted to. I stared up at him, lips parting slightly to speak, but no words came out, causing a rush of embarrassment to spread over my body and my heart to crash down into my stomach.

Slowly, I blinked, forcing myself out of the trance he'd put me in. I narrowed my eyes and grabbed the fabric of his shirt in my fist, pulling him closer to me with maybe a little too much force. Our faces were close, and I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face; quietly, I warned him, "Distract me from my work, and you'll regret it."

And then I threw all self-control to the wind, kissing him deeply.

Jake 

My eyebrows drew together at the lack of reciprocation from Kinley. I started to apologise — but was abruptly cut off when she pulled me down to her level. I gave a small nod, eyes slightly wide, then let out a soft sound of surprise when she kissed me. 

It took a half-second for me to kiss back (in which I realised why Kinley might not have returned the earlier one). I lifted my hands to her face but changed my mind, instead dropping my arms to her waist to lift her up to my level. 

As I laced my fingers beneath her like a seat, I felt a little thrill go through me. The last time we had kissed like this had been while I was stoned to all hell, and while the memory remained, the details were hazy enough that this felt like a new experience. 

"No distractions," I noted against Kinley's lips. "Got it."

Kinley

When Jake lifted me up, a small and surprised sound exited my mouth; the feeling of Jake's arms tightly around my waist brought flashbacks of the previous night to my mind. Against my will, I made a quiet, but higher-pitched than usual, whine of — for lack of better word — pleasure at the memories. I was thankful that we were hidden from view behind the three large trees.

"This counts as a distraction," I stated breathlessly before moving in and kissing him again. There was something electric about my legs wrapped around Jake's waist and Jake's arms holding me up and my hands moving over Jake's shoulders and neck to rest behind his head and Jake's breathing falling into pace with mine and Jake's lips pressed against mine and my teeth occasionally tugging on Jake's lip and my emotions for Jake and—

My emotions for Jake?

Suddenly, I pulled away from the kiss and dropped my eyes to his collarbone, breathing heavily. I had no idea how to react to what I just thought, but I tried my best to convince myself that it was just because I was caught up in the moment because every time he touched me, jolts of electricity shot through my nerves and I fell a little deeper into a hole I was unsure that I could get myself out of.

And Jake was amazing. And he was my best friend. And I couldn't comprehend why my heart would beat so loud whenever he was near.

Jake 


I thought I was doing pretty well at remaining outwardly calm and collected throughout this. Until Kinley bit my lip, at which point something in me unravelled completely and I almost lost my footing. Without breaking the kiss, I half-stumbled in the direction of the nearest tree so I could lean her against it, keeping one arm behind her back to prevent the bark from scraping any of her skin. I absentmindedly hoped no one would throw a knife at us. 

I didn't open my eyes for a few moments after Kinley pulled away, ducking my head down to press chaste kisses to her shoulder while I tried to even out my breathing. My head was dizzy and light; I wondered, now, what part of last night's daze was due to drugs, and what part was due to Kinley. 

"Right," I said breathlessly. "No doing that while you're working. Got it." I dropped another kiss to the dip of her collarbone, then looked up at her face again. Kinley wasn't looking at my face. Worry piqued in my stomach and I brushed a light kiss to Kinley's nose. "You okay?"

Kinley

I let out a shaky breath when Jake's lips brushed against my nose, allowing my eyes to flutter shut. I was almost one hundred percent certain that he could hear my heartbeat, as it was drowning out every sound surrounding us. I only heard him, I only saw him, I only felt him. What was this? I told myself that it was just sexual attraction, and that I would be over it soon enough, but something deep, deep down inside of me knew that it had to be something more. Even the most intense form of sexual attraction didn't feel like the way Jake made me feel. He could breathe in my direction and something inside of my chest would explode.

No strings attached, though, right? I hastily brushed everything I was feeling that seemed unnatural to the side.

"I just..." I sighed, my eyes opening up again and reluctantly looking up to meet his. Slowly, I brought my hand up to my mouth and brushed my fingertips across my lips. I could still taste him as I spoke, "Don't worry about me, okay?" I said, clearing my throat. I knew that my answer probably wouldn't be good enough for Jake, but it was just about all I could get out that would've made any sense.

I tipped my head back against the tree and watched Jake. His green eyes searched my face with a vague worried expression, and my stomach did flips. Reaching over to gently tug his hoodie and shirt collar out of the way, I traced my fingertips lightly around oddly shaped bruises on his collarbone and neck, biting down on my lip as memories of giving him those hickies came into focus. Laughing softly, I said, "Look like things were rougher than I thought."

Jake 

I tilted my head to the side, frowning slightly at Kinley. I tried to recall what I had done just before she had pulled away, but nothing unusual sprang to mind. I touched her face, rubbing my thumb gently along her cheekbone, as I studied her. "Kinley, I do anything you don't like, I want you to tell me, okay?"

Tilting my head the other way, I tried to look down and see what Kinley was talking about. "What're you—?" A blush flooded my cheeks when I put two and two together, but it was replaced almost instantly by concern again at what she said. 

As much as I enjoyed the intimacy of being gentle, I worried constantly that it wouldn't be enough. That my tendency to get carried away would leak into something like this. I was stronger than most, and I could do more harm for it. I always tried to be careful with my partners, but last night I hadn't been thinking clearly because of the drugs, and... 

My anxiety spiked.

I searched my memory for any negative reactions from Kinley. Would she tell me if I had hurt her? Would she have still asked to be friends with benefits? She didn't seem the type to be intimidated easily, but then again, I towered above her — or maybe she felt obligated because I was her friend. It would explain why she'd been so hostile earlier. My stomach turned. 

What if the bruises and scratches on my body were defensive? 

I stepped back from the tree and set Kinley down. "Did I hurt you last night?"

Kinley

My feet touched the ground and I gave a frown down at the grass, mentally cursing myself out for making Jake worry so much — to the point where he had thought he had hurt me. I sighed heavily and gave a firm shake of my head. "You were very gentle," I said, starting off quietly. "I don't get gentle. Nobody gives me gentle. Every one of my previous hookups have been rough and violent and intense; you're the first one to have ever been soft and sweet and intimate with me. I..." I trailed off, biting down on my lip.

It was true: Jake was the only person who had ever been gentle with me during sex. Yeah, we did get rough at one point during our night together, but only with my lead — I was so used to being submissive and allowing guys to do whatever they wanted with me that when things were gentle...it felt like I was on another planet, or that it was my first time, or any other amount of clichés one could think up.

I reached forward and took one of Jake's hands in both of mine, gently brushing my thumbs across the back of it. Very carefully, I moved his hand up to rest on my now very warm cheek, one of my hands resting on top of his. My breathing was shallow, and I felt extremely vulnerable under his touch. I could feel my heart beating in the back of my throat as I looked up to meet his eyes.

"Jake," I said, barely able to speak in anything more than a whisper, "I've never been touched as gently as you touched me. U-Underneath your fingertips, I feel little...jolts of electricity. It makes my insides feel all t-tingly and I don't know how I'm s-supposed to react." I allowed my hand to slip from his as my eyes fell back towards the grass.

Like I said: vulnerable.