~Character Chat~

"Uh it's comprised of Snake Venom, cynaide, and some other stuff..."said Ezra reading aloud.

"What kinds of dirty things?" said Andrew, raising an eydbrow.

"Eugh. Cyanide. I don't like Cyanide. It's too...messy or something..." Riddle squished her face up in distaste.

"You wouldn't want to drink this." said Ezra, pulling out the vial. It was an onyx but it had a tint of amber looking into it. It seemed darker than night it's self.

"I love Cyanide and Happiness, though!" Izzy said excitedly. "It's a webcomic. Have you heard of it?"

"Well duh. Cyanide. It's messy. If I was less dead I could probably make you a killer iced beverage from it though..." Riddle said, eyeing the liquid pensively. She was slowly but surely continuing to stiffen, as was typical of Rigor Mortis. "Web comic? What is that?"

"Need help Riddle?" asked Ezra. "I could fix you."

"Dude. Did I ask for help? I'm fine. Give me 24 hours, and I'll be up and extracting sofa lint from the inside of seashells like it wasn't tomorrow." She said confidiently. "Seriously. That's how it always happens."
"Yeah...She's better off if you let biology happen..." T.Mor agreed. "Biology plus formaldehyde...Best solution."

"A webcomic is an online cartoon," Izzy said. "They can range from really funny to really epic to really...bad. Cyanide and Happiness is really funny, though! Another one of my favorites is xkcd. It has a lot of intellectual humor."

"Ah..." Riddle nodded jerkily. "I see..." She had an Idea of what cartoons were. She didn't know it, but a lot of what she woud call fine art was cartooning.

(T.Morr may start to feel weak I mean in my book Ezra had two months but he still felt weak and this isn't a book....so less time....)

"Sofa lint from seashells?" asked Andrew.

"I...I don't think that's possible Riddle." added Ezra.

"Has impossibility ever stopped me BEFORE?" Riddle asked.
"This is going to be about the chainspork...I can feel it..." T.Mor muttered.

"Chainspork? Whatever...I'm going for a run." said Andrew, shaking his head.

"A run?" asked Liz.

"Yeah...I haven't broken a sweat in nintey-nine years...now's my chance." grinned Andrew, running up the stairs.

"Have fun, man," Izzy said. Then she turned to T.Mor. "Chainspork?"
"Don't ask," Peter told her.
"It sounds...crazy awesome!" Izzy exclaimed, causing Peter to smack his forehead.

"OH IT IS." Riddle agreed with an evil grin. "I wanted to use someone's powers to MAGICALLY FUSE a chainsaw and a SPORK. It would be SO LETHAL...and perfect for gore-coleslaw."Riddle giggled.
"Sometimes I think she makes some of this crap up..." T.Mor muttered into his facepalm.

"But...how exactly would that be practical?" Izzy asked. "I mean, the chainsaw itself would be just as lethal as the chainspork. And wouldn't it be rather cumbersome to try to eat coleslaw with a spork that has a chainsaw attached? I just think that it would be rather unwieldy. You'd probably be better off simply carrying around a spork and a chainsaw."

"IT'S NOT THE PRACTICALITY...ITS THE IMPLIED AWESOME."Riddle said, as though this were obvious. "You'd have to magically grow the spork though, so it wouldn't look all disporprtional..." She continued thoughtfully. "Also...Then its really convenient when you want to go from dismembering to gouging...no awkward pocket fumbling or anything!" She smiled almost like a fiver year old who saw a commercial for something stupid on TV.

"You can't just magically grow stuff, though," Izzy explained, going into education mode. "Law of conservation of matter. If you want a proportional spork, you have to get the metal first."

"Metal SPORK??? WHUT." Riddle made a face. "Sporks are plastic..." She said in confusion.
"Clearly she's never seen the silverware available in the kitchens..." T.Mor smiled. He had seen metal sporks...and they were AWESOME.

"You'd have to make it out of metal," Izzy said. "Earth types can't control plastic! Plastic is made of petrochemicals, which are comprised of nonmetals and metaloids. Earth types are incapable of manipulating those."

"Oh...Plastic isn't...REALLY?!" Riddle just kept learning things. It confused her. It took her a full minute to move her arm to express disbelief, so bad was the stiffening. You could hear the tendons snap in protest.
"Gah...Tell her not to do that...It's bad for her...She could...Oh whatever." T.Mor shrugged. It all came out in the wash with Riddle. Immortality made caring somewhat pointless.

"Yeah, really," Izzy told her.
"And it's hard enough for earth types to manipulate just straight metal, too," Nike put in. "The more refined the materials are, the harder they are to work with."

"So...Could they make me a peanut butter chainsaw? Would that be easier?" Riddle asked contemplatively. "OR A NEON MERENGUE EXPLODING PARSNIP? That would be awesome..."

"Penut butter isn't comprised of metals, either," Izzy said. "Organic compounds are mainly Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, and Nitrogen."
"Neon merengue exploding parsnip...?" Sarah asked, trying to make sense of it and failing.

"You could weld it," suggested Ezra.

"Arguably," Izzy started, "welding it could be harder."