~Character Chat~

Sarah: A frog is an amphibian, yes, usually about this big. (She displays with her hands.) They have slimy skin, long back legs, short front legs, and are good at jumping. "Frog," however, is also an insulting name to call a French person. That's why it was funny...'cause he said that frogs were delicious...

Riddle: Oh. I wanted it to breathe fire. (Somewhat let down.)
T.Mor: you would have a jar of mayonaise breathe fire if you could...
Riddle: And it would be the MOST EPIC jar of mayonaise to ever grace the planet. a mix between Chuck Norris and Trogdor the Burninator. (Wistfully. You can almost see the carnage dancing through her head.)
T.Mor: My point. (Conclusively. Eats some food.) Oh- it's fine. Not even expired yet.
Riddle: (Shocked by that fact) Seriously? Neat.

(Apprehensively, the team eats.)
Sarah: Sub-par, but it's still food...

((Trogdooooooor!! Trogdooooooor!!))

(Epic guitar solo plays and peasants on fire dance across the screen...TROGDOR!!!! Burninating the country side!!)

T.Mor: Sub-par? This is as real as it gets...unless it's pancakes.
August:No wonder everyone here is so thin...(Staring at T.Mor.)
T.Mor: I'm not thin- I'm statistically average.(Defensively. August is a good 30 pounds heavier than T.Mor, depite being 6-7 years younger...and not chubby by any stretch of the imagination. T.Mor has a sort of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac set of porportions going for him: ramrod skinny, but by no means weak.)
August: I'd hate to see the statistically below average.
Riddle: Hi. (Smiles.)
August: Ha-ha. (Dryly.) Seriously- at home you'd both be hospitialised for being underfed.
T.Mor: I am not underfed. I average 4 meals a week!(Proud of this.)

Sarah: (wide-eyed stare before blinking twice) We hardly ever live in a proper home and we eat more than that!
(If it hasn't been mentioned already, each team member has a wiry build and lean muscles.)
Nike: T.Mor, most people on most planes eat three meals a day.

T.Mor: Isn't that a little bit excessive? I mean... what do you do with all of it? How do you get all that food? Don't you have to pay through the nose for it? That's a lot of food.
August: No...It's not. And you shouldn't have to pay tons of money for it.
T.Mor: (Eyebrow raise.) I don't believe you.
August: Look- what's your unit of money here?
T.Mor: rectangles and circles.
August: Ok...(Finds that odd.) How much would you have to pay for the can of MEAT you're eating now?
T.Mor: 18 rectangles. Or more...Depending on the expiration date- it could go up to 25.
Riddle: Food can go as low as 6- as long as you don't care about quality.
August: That's crazy. I could buy a fresh steak for 12 dollars at home.(Doesn't know how much dollars versus rectangles are, but assumes that it's similar.)
T.Mor: fresh what?
August: steak. It probably comes in a can here. The point is I pay less for something fancy than you do for tinned artificial junk.
T.Mor: I'm still not getting it. You're saying that Eating once a day...or less is hazardous to my health...and that we're being overcharged for food? I've been eating like this since I was 6. I'm fine. (somewhat defensive.)

Sarah: Maybe so, but it's still not healthy.
Senet: See, look at us. We could cehrtainly be deschribed as zeen--
Sarah: Or thin.
Senet: --but we'hre a healzy zeen. You, 'owevehr... (He shakes his head.)
Nike: And yes, you're being way overcharged for food.

T.Mor: (protesting.) I'm not that skinny. Look- Riddle's thinner than I am.
Riddle: My intestines are missing- firstly...and secondly...ah, who am I kidding, there is no secondly. I'm skeletal. But- seriously T.Mor...I have a legit excuse. I am constantly fighting the forces of decomposition. You aren't.
T.Mor: And you've never told me that this was bad before? (Accusatorily at Riddle.)
Riddle: I am shamelessly jumping on the band wagon, actually...I didn't know until about 2 minutes ago that your lack of food was bad. How would I? Now I am behind it 100...no...72.5%!
T.Mor: (awkward silence.) So by not healthy...
August: You could die.
T.Mor: I know that. (snapping.) That's why I make an effort to actually have enough food for 4 meals a week. It takes a lot of budgeting. And tax forms. But- unhealthy? (has a sporkful of MEAT and is waving it around a bit.) I find that hard to believe. I'm fine.

Sarah: Well...

((Shall we time lapse and jump to the journey to SInk Pump?))

(Take a step to the left! and a hop to the right...
LET'S DO THE TIME WARP!)

Three days have elapsed, involving many incredibly lame puns, and an intense arguement with a monorail ticket salesman. Eventually some sort of factory type buildings start to emerge, with the telltale sign that reads, more legibly than anything else in the whole world: SInk Pump. there's several huge RV's visible as well, although they look as though they haven't been driven in decades.

Riddle: I wanted it to be shiny. It's not shiny.
T.Mor: I didn't promise shiny...
(They approach the street, which appears out of the muddy wasteland suddenly, as though the road wasn't finished being built yet.)
A Voice: HALT! WHO ARE YOU?
T.Mor: refugees? Umm...we just walked from Auda. Please don't send us back...(talking to the street, he can't see the guy.)
Voice: Oh. WELL, I GUESS THAT'S ALL RIGHT THEN. None of you work for the government though do you? You could be banned for that.
T.Mor: Not anymore. I'm not going to lie to you- I used to work there...but I'm escaping an excecution.
Voice: Yeah. Whatever. We don't really care all that much. Go on.
T.Mor: Ok...

Where Auda had been on fire and falling apart, SInk Pump is surprisingly vibrant, although similarly built. There is an abundance of Internet propaganda- Lol cats, Advice dog...all of it. Plastered everywhere. The buildings have somewhat broken and badly misspelled neon signs screaming at you, like New York- if New York was run by 4chan. Or WoW players. Or trolls.

August: Ow....The neon!! It burns.
Riddle: ITS BEAUTIFUL.

((Ahahaha! xD))

Peter: Whoa. This place is...
Sarah: I don't even know what to say...
Senet: And eet's so bhright!

T.Mor: Yeah- this is definitely not what I expected...(Is somewhat blinded as well.) Umm...I guess we should find a place to stay? or something...
Riddle: You could find a place to eat.(Nudges T.Mor. She is singlehandedly trying to make him eat more.)
T.Mor: We could...But where? (Is staring out into the sea of neon. totally lost.)
Riddle: You could ask somebody...
August: I will...(is trying to be less of a scaredy cat.) Umm- Hey...Excuse me? (Is stopping some guy in a lumberjacket.) Umm- Where can I find a good place to eat?
Lumberjacket: (Angerily.) DID YOU EVEN BOTHER TO LOOK AT A SEARCH BOX? F-ING N00BS...AND NOT EVEN ANY MANNERS. DIDN'T YOU READ---
Riddle: (Is getting shouty.) NO- WE DIDN'T READ THE FAQS. ALRIGHT? I JUST WALKED FOR THREE BLOODY DAYS IN THAT OUT THERE PLACE, AND WITHOUT A KNEECAP. I KNOW THAT KID (Points At August.) IS A WALKING 1D10T ERROR, BUT IF YOU DON'T GIVE US A PLEASANT RESTAURANT RECCOMMENDATION, I'M GONNA BE FIRIN' MAH LAZARS. MMMK?
Lumberjacket: (Clearly did not expect that sort of response. Is somewhat shocked.) What-- YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO WALK IN HERE AND START DEMANDING ALL THIS POLITENESS AND CRAP, BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW WE WORK HERE! YOU CAN'T JUST DEMAND THAT WE CHANGE THE WHOLE CULTURE OF THIS PLACE FOR YOU.
Riddle: (Stares him down expertly. It's downright terrifying.) I just want a name. Then I will be HAPPY to read up on whatever you bother to put in the educational brochure.
Lumberjacket: Ugh. FINE. TEH FUD JOYNT is pretty decent. And they sell food...
Riddle: See? Was that so hard?(somewhat tauntingly.)
(Lumberjacket walks off grumbling obscenities.)
Riddle: So...TEH FUD JOYNT. Ok...We should ask--
T.Mor: We are not asking anyone anything else, until we read the manual. We will just read the neon signs for it. Like calm collected people.(Riddle is interacting with some other SInk Pump resident, and they're both shouting.)
Riddle: (Comes back from that with a satisfied smile.) This way!
(They all follow Riddle.)

((I lol'd at the real-life flame war xD))

Sarah: I'm not sure if I like this place any better... It's really loud.
Nike: At least it's not on fire.
Peter: (automatically) Fire is excellent.

(Aww....Thank You! It was fun to write.
Just so you know, I'm going to be in Pennsylvania all weekend, and there's no internet there. I will be back on monday.)
Riddle:(High fives Peter.) Yes it is!
T.Mor: It is really shouty here though...
Riddle: (finds the restaurant.) Yes! I found it! (They enter. Every single wall (and sometimes even the floor) is plastered with memes. demotivationals, advice dog, shoop da woop, pokeparents -everything. It's almost more of an eyesore than outside. The restaurant is packed though, and there are quite a myriad of diners. Several of which were currently participating in a rather loud barfight...which was apparently about who got to the bar first.)
Bartender: (Nods hurriedly in their direction.) Hi, Put your tributes in the box, and I'll be around in a minute to find you all a chair...(does a quick headcount.) 7...ok. (Returns to the fighting guys, and is trying to get them to leave.)
August: (whispered.) Tribute?
T.Mor: Yeah- they must have everything imported on the spot. That's pretty impressive.
Riddle: (is pulling all of the miscellaneous hairpins out of her hair and dumping them in the box.Somehow, the hair doesn't move.) I like this system better than the one at home.
T.Mor: Yeah...(Pulls a box of ammo out of...hammerspace I guess, and puts that in the box.) It's better.
August: But I don't understand! Why do you do this?
T.Mor: Because. This stuff? Goes to the internet, in exchange for well...whatever the bartend asks for when he does all the coding...and then...food happens. Uhm...Anyone who wants anything to eat needs to surrender something to the box.
August: I dunno what to put in...
Riddle: Your left shoe.
August: But I need that for walking and stuff.
Riddle: Those sock things then. They're useless.
August: What? no.(Riddle stares at him. He stares back for about 2 seconds, before qiuckly pulling his socks off to put in the box.)

(The team puts ammo in the box like T.Mor did.)
Sarah: (shrugging) We still have more. And we could always use our powers if--
Peter: No we couldn't. Remember? Sybek.
Sarah: Oh...right.
Peter: (admonishing) Yeah. Try not to forget about things that can kill you.

(Ok- Last Post Til monday...)

Riddle: We could always trade for more dakka...if we need to. Well, according to my life philosophy- you always need more dakka.
Bartender: Good. (Shuffles out from behind the bar, and literally pulls together chairs from other already occupied tables. They're put around a rather small table in a corner.) Here you go...What can I get you? You can afford pretty much anything with your tributes...
T.Mor: do you have MEAT on toast?
Bartender: Pork or beef?
T.Mor: No- you must have heard me wrong...MEAT.
Bartender: You're new here aren't you?
T.Mor: is it that ovbious?
Riddle: YES. I want beef on toast- with whatever else you can put on the plate. Like seriously- I want an epileptic assault of miscellaneous flavour.
Bartender: Okkk....So, Beef or Pork?
T.Mor: Surprise me.
Bartender: Ok.(Turns toward August) And you?
August: Do you have cheesburgers?
Bartender: Yes, you can haz cheezeburger. (Turns toward the rest of the group) And for you all?

((Mmkay! Also, "you can haz cheezeburger" got a chuckle out of me ))

(They exchange looks.)
Sarah: Uh, we're new here, too. What do you have?

(Got Back early. YAY! fast driving!)

Bartender: I have beef on toast, pork on toast, cheezeburgers, toast on jello...assorted dried meats and dehydrated fruits...and toaster strudels. Oh, and coffee.
Riddle: Coffee? I need that too.

(())

(The team looks at each other.)
Sarah: Think I'll have some dehydrated fruits then. And water.
Peter: What she said.
Nike: For me as well.
Senet: Yeah...

Bartender: Water? Ok...I'll have to go boil it then...Alright.(Seems a bit confused by that, but leaves to fill the order anyway.)
August: So...How am I getting back home?
T.Mor: That's why these guys are here...Actually- I don't think I've ever formally introduced you...Erm- That's Peter, Sarah, Nike and Senet. And guys- that's August. Although with recent erm...Sybek problems I dunno if that's possible right now.
Riddle: I still think that Nuking them from orbit with that stuff in Peter's pocket would eliminate the problem effectively.
T.Mor: and the whole planet. (Irritatedly.)
Riddle: small price to pay. I mean look at this place...ok- not SInk Pump- this place rocks...but like the rest of it?
(Bartender comes back out with everything except water.)
Bartender: Water's still boiling...(Distributes plates. Riddle's dinner has tentacles and is moving.) Erm...Be right back.
Riddle: Man! This is great! He listened when I said EVERYTHING! (pulls out her formaldehyde bottle and adds the contenst of that to the plate. then eats.) I like this.
T.Mor: (Is somewhat green from watching Riddle eat.) Um...Ok. Looks.....egh...delicious.
Riddle: It is! Want some?
T.Mor: Ceiling Cat NO.

Peter: This is only thermite. No nuking involved.
Nike: What's Ceiling Cat?

Riddle: I know there isn't--But I can DREAM can't I? (About thermite.)
T.Mor: (Has tenatively tried his beef on toast, finding it to be good. It's actually the best thing he's ever eaten. Not that that says much of course.) Ceiling Cat is this cat who you can see through a ceiling panel...and he's constantly watching you...
Riddle: He sees you when you're sleeping...and knows when you're awake...
August: Isn't that Santa Claus?
Riddle: no.
T.Mor: It's sort of like a minor deity...if something works out you can thank Ceiling Cat, because he was watching from he ceiling and made your day turn out alright.

Nike: ...Um....
Sarah: (muttering to her) Hey, these are the people who believe in pancake bunnies and philosoraptors.

T.Mor: (Heard that.) But they're REAL. Seriously.
August: I don't believe you.
T.Mor: Well, where else are you going to get a pancake?
Riddle: Or deep thought? I mean really- people can't get all meta the way a philosoraptor can. It's a genetic thing. You can't LEARN that kind of thinking. It just has to be...existing...or something. Yeah- I dunno. That's probably why they went extinct.

Sarah: Um, you make pancakes by mixing batter and pouring it on a frying pan. That's why they're called pancakes!