Profundum Rehab for Character Develpoment

Hello, Writer. Take a seat, please. Now, I hear you're in need of our services? Don't worry; most do. In fact, almost all Writers have at least one character that could use a little more... depth. Ranging from 'slightly personality deficient' to full blown 'Mary-Sue', we treat them all here. Whether their from a book you started years ago, or your current MC, I'm sure we can accommodate them. Our campus has many buildings: dorms, treatment centers, recreational areas, libraries, laboratories, and more. Let me give you a quick overview of what treatments we currently offer, though it is constantly subject to change:

Emotional Classes- Where I will try to help them discover what makes them sad, angry, happy, ect and how to express those feelings in their own unique ways.

Power Reduction- It's a painless and totally safe way of toning down powers, to assure they do not 'God Mode' in any chats.

'Quirk' Training- This is a continuous thing, it has no set class. Basically, they are encouraged by me and my assistants, to discover what makes them special and unique. They will write down their quirks in their Journal as they discover them.

Historian- Our on staff 'Historian', as we call him, will help the characters flesh out their history to make it more realistic and full of depth

Journals- Last but not least, every character will be asked to keep a journal. They will write a minimum of one sentence every day, though they will be encouraged to write more.

Recreational Time- Most of the characters' time here will be spent at our recreational areas, both to discover what they like to do, and how they interact with a wide range of other people. Like the Quirk Training, this is continuous

Like I said, these are constantly changing, and you and your characters will be alerted when new programs and features are offered. You are allowed visitation to your characters at /any/ time, and we request you accompany them when they sign up. Just fill out this form, one for each character:

Name:
Age:
Appearance:
Bio:
Powers/Species:
Personality so far:
Score on the Mary-Sue test (http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm):
What they hope to get out of this program:

and bring it with you when you bring your characters to our main facility. We hope to see you soon.

Name: Endellion Aleric
Age: 15
Appearance: Long black hair, heart shaped face, tall, green-blue eyes, slightly pale
Bio: ...I don't even know D:
Personality so far: Uh.... nice... and uh... pretty accepting of... stuff that happens? D:
Powers: Can control all four elements
Score on the Mary-Sue test: 38
What they hope to get out of this program: A personality, history, less power... yeaaa.... she sucks D:

Name: Marley Aldric
Age: 14
Appearance: Dirty blonde hair, short, thin, and hazel eyes
Bio: Long story, yo.
Personality so far: Lots of personality. She's here because I want lulz
Score on the Mary-Sue test: Like... 16ish. Some of the points were a little hard to tell. But really low
What they hope to get out of this program: Nothing, I just wanted to put her through the program for the lulz

Name: Annaleah
Age: barely 14
Appearance: very pale with freckles here and there, willowy petite figure, green eyes, long red hair
Bio: She was raised by her father in rich captivity, in a place I call Luna Nuova.
Personality so far: rebellious, curious, level-headed and creative.
Score on the Mary-Sue test: 1 (??? I was sure it would be much more!)
What they hope to get out of this program: I want to get to know her better. When I write her I feel like I'm writing a stranger.

Name: Crooks
Age: 16-ish
Appearance: (literally) dirty blonde hair, super pale skin, light blue eyes, lean but strong for his size.
Bio: Grew up in the slums of Luna. After childhood trauma he adopted the philosophy that the world sucks, and so he may as well sit back, relax, and ruin a few lives here and there for the fun of it.
Powers/Species: human
Personality so far: he doesn't give a s***. But deep down in there there's some angsting, though he does a good job about pushing it away
Score on the Mary-Sue test : 18
What they hope to get out of this program: I want to figure him out and give him some good motivations, fears, all that jazz. Because right now I feel like I'm writing a cliche villian, and that's not what I was going for.

Name: T.Morbid Namechov
Age: 22? ish...
Appearance: Sorta tall...wickedly underfed...Pale in an unhealthy way, black hair, and pale grey eyes.
Bio:T.Mor grew up in the city of Auda, unaware that his world was undergoing political upheaval...until he came home to find his house on fire and his parental units deceased. In order to protect his sister, and to keep his parents house, he got a job with the government- the people who killed his parents, at age 8. He hates his job.
Powers/Species: Human...
Personality: Kinda angsty if you ask him about it. Otherwise sorta distant with people, he can be cold- but the universe he's from is...unforgiving. Only seems to have real reactions to Riddle...which normally consist of 'WTF???' moments.
Mary-sue score: 12.
What they hope to gain: More depth...Demension. A consistent personality...He just sometimes sounds inconsistent to me in ways that I don't hear around Riddle...

Name: Ayakashi
Age: looks 14/15, in fact 2
Appearance: long auburn hair, just past the shoulders, curly/wavy. dark blue eyes, fair skinned. Tall and whispy, some freckles across her nose. Brand on her arm from Area 51 stating her project number: 97Y400D.
sort of like...
http://www.sodahead.com/fun/what-color-hair-do-you-have/question-933247/?link=ibaf&imgurl=http://www.mynewhair.info/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/09beautifulbrunette.jpg&q=red%2Bbrown%2Bhair
Bio: created in Area 51 to be a biological weapon, she holds 10% of an alien giving her her powers (see below). Awakened early by the alien (D.M.O., named Mo by Aya because she thought he was German...lol...) so her immune system was not finished in time and therefore gets easily sick and could die without treatment. and...yeah, the rest isn't really important.
Powers/Species: Experiment. Telekinesis
Personality so far: very...nonchalant. Basic knowledge of things, but is still stupid on real life. and...yeah...idk...
Score on the Mary-Sue test: heh... 22.... but only because Jacky said to check all the language boxes cuz she's omnilingual. if that's not the case then it'd be 14. add one to both if Mo counts as an 'animal companion', but i don't think so...
What they hope to get out of this program: Like to get to know this version of her better. Flesh her out more...

Name: Daniel Hastings
Age: 22...ish
Appearance: Tall, longer dirty blonde hair, blue eyes. Slightly built, but still lanky. He's got a robotic arm that he made and put on himself. Jeans and t-shirt
Bio: fairly regular to a point. He grew up with his family (brother of Kim, for those who know her), went to high school, went to college and graduated with a batchelors in engineering. Goes to work at the Institute of Biological Studies before Aya appears. Then Aiden drags him into the first trial and things get...odd...
Powers/Species: Human. Technopath
Personality so far: None. Whatsoever, but that's how he's supposed to be. The trial was somewhat faulty, which led to him losing his emotions. So much so he thought a robotic arm would be better than a human one and preformed the operation on himself. We're debating if he cared enough to use pain killers. >.>
Score on the Mary-Sue test: 11
What they hope to get out of this program: Erm.... I just have no idea of how to voice him.

Name: Aiden (needs a last name)
Age: 22...ish
Appearance: Thin, dark straight hair, dark eyes.
Bio: sort of same as Dan, but richer. His parents own a Biotech company. Went to private school, college where he met Dan and befriended him. Graduated with a degree in genetics, also joined Dan and worked at The Institute. The one who found Aya. Took part in the first trial.
Powers/Species: Human. Worm holes. Limit of the number of people he can take through with him.
Personality so far: Noble, kind. Wants to better humanity (why he supported the trial). Think Robin, Ende.
Score on the Mary-Sue test: 17
What they hope to get out of this program: Get to know him better, make writing him easier.

Name: August Nimbly
Age: 12
Apearance: Brown hair. Not terrifyingly thin. Blue eyes.
Bio: Ended up accidentally in another universe where the bad guy wants to sacrifice him to the internet to gain immortality. He misses his mother. And hates bleeding. And rooftops. AND JUST WANTS TO GO HOME FOR PETE'S SAKE!!!*whiny...whiny...whiny...*
Powers/species:HUMAN.
Personality: SO. have you guys heard that he's whiny?
Mary sue score:4.
What they hope to gain: A LOT more depth. An actual personality beyond being a human maguffin. Less whinyness.

Name: Riddle. She has no last name. Mr.Face wouldn't let her have his.
Age: 15...and 47? She's Immortal.
Appearance: short. Terrifyingly thin. Pale like printer paper. Red eyes. Combat booted.
BIO: Arrived via Amazon box to Mr.Face's doorstep after he sacrificed people to the internet for her. He was displeased. Grew up tortured as a result. She doesn't entirely notice all the tiime though. BFF's with T.Mor...Through crazyrandom happenstance really...Basically in it for the lulz.
Powers/Species: Immortal.
Personality: BAT CRAP INSANE. If you look deep into her peanut filled centre though...There's pain? And caramel. And bacon...
Mary Sue score: *Hides* 28...
What they hope to gain: Insight as to WHY the score is so high...Erm...just more insight generally? Perspective. Riddle is near and dear to my non-existent soul. Sometimes I can't see her clearly cos of the soul vortex.

Name: Rogal Seboyer
Age: 27
Appearance: 6'6", and very powerfully built. He wears a long black cloak with razor-blades sown into the bottom hem over a suit of armour consisting of a breastplate and backplate made from the bonnet of a Jaguar E-type, a shield made from the door of same, and some smaller pieces of metal from various places. His hair would be dull brown/blonde with a ginger fringe, but he dyes it completely black. His face would be pale anyway, but it is generally painted completely white, with black detailing tracing the shape of the skull underneath. His armour has the underlying bone structure painted on in white, albeit in an anatomically dubious manner. He carries a warhammer made from a short length of scaffolding pole and an I-beam girder. His face is narrow, with an overbite and grey eyes. He also has a capital F branded into the flesh of his forehead.
Bio: He was originally a Goth, which, in the post-apocalyptic future, is a member of an elite bodyguard of a chief. Goths from most different tribes still look a lot like their 21st century counterparts. However, he primarily follows a religion laid down in the Codex Astartes (A fictional book created from the remains of several Warhammer 40k rulebooks and source books and believed to be a religious text), which puts him at loggerheads with the priesthood of Vader (Yes, that Vader), and results in him being branded a Fail (ie heretic) in the very first paragraph.
Powers/Species: No powers per se, but he is strong enough to slice a man in twain with the standard armament of the Goths, and he is a master of most close combat. He is also an accomplished weaponsmith and armourer, and frequently effects his own repairs.
Personality so far: Very grim and angry, still furious at being exiled from the Beetee Clan. he has little time to spare for other people, but has a soft spot for model people. He reacts with disdain at best to real people, but when presented with a broken porcelain figurine he downs his weapons and labours through the night to repair it.
Score on the Mary-Sue test: 33. Oh dear.
What they hope to get out of this program: More depth of character, a proper personality, and some better quirks/history. I'm not too worried about how powerful he is, as he is meant to be the badass one of the group of four he is with. Also, he needs a reason why he hasn't murdered the other four out of irritation.

Name: Nokia Fleischer
Age: 23
Appearance: Short and stocky, with dark hair that is generally kept behind her ears, but reaches about halfway down her back. grey eyes, and a wide face with a wide smile.
Bio: She was raised outside of any clans. She lives in a jungle of twisted and broken metal east of Hathor's Fell, the home of the Beetee Clan. She had a happy childhood, but was left behind when the rest of the Fleischer family were attacked by trolls (bandits, actually. The name derives from the internet term 'troll') and fled. The trolls, finding nothing of interest, left pretty sharpish, leaving the hidden Nokia to come out and live alone in the iron forest.
Powers/Species: She is brilliant with all manner of machines, unearths an electricity cable from an automated power station to supply her home with electricity, and builds the first functioning internal combustion engine for three hundred years, by studying pictures and broken examples.
Personality so far: None. This is the problem, see?
Score on the Mary-Sue test: 18.
What they hope to get out of this program: A personality would be favourite.

Name: Adam Prescott
Age: 22ish?
Appearance: Blond hair, I think he has blue eyes. Can't quite remember.
Bio: His dad is in jail for abusing his brother, and his mom committed suicide not too long ago.
Powers/Species: Human.
Personality so far: He can be arrogant, rather nasty, and a womanizer. He also abused his brother, and I'd like to find a reason for why he did this.
Score on the Mary-Sue test (http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm): 2.
What they hope to get out of this program: Why he's abusive, a deeper/relevant reason for why he goes and plays a bunch of girls all the time.

Name: Cassy Carlson
Age: 17ish
Appearance: Dyed black hair and blue eyes.
Bio: Her mother married her twin sister's ex-husband after her death. She now has a stepsister and a stepfather she doesn't really like.
Powers/Species: Human.
Personality so far: He can be arrogant, rather nasty, and a womanizer. He also abused his brother, and I'd like to find a reason for why he did this.
Score on the Mary-Sue test (http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm): 3.
What they hope to get out of this program: Why she always wants guys in her pants, hobbies, etc. Some depth. Not just a pretty girl with a pretty face.

Bump.

Is everybody ready to start? Whoever is, just make a scene of you arriving with your characters

Adam: "Where are we going?"

Jelsa: I smirked and grabbed his arm and Cassy's. "Somewhere...fun."

Cassy: "Where are we going?"

Jelsa: I ignored their protests and walked over to the facility. This place better be able to help these two. I knew I couldn't.

Abbie
Aya hangs by me, eying the building up with such a child like wonder in her eyes. Nervous, and perhaps even a bit scared, she takes my hand and lets me guide her as a parent. So trusting. So naive. It'll be her downfall when she gets to the Institution.
Mo flits up from her backpack a second, glancing over /her/ shoulder in what I assume to be an equal amount of curiosity. Aya glances over at him, the pitch black humanishly figured alien, his only features, his large yellow orbs for eyes, blink on and off to some telepathic message from her.
"It'll be alright," I reassure, feeling with what she's going to experience in her story it'll make it all better even though this place parallels pretty close to the Institution. At least she wasn't near death and breaking and entering....
She simply nods, eyes returning to the large white stucco building. Note to self: work on her social skills as well. Though what would you expect out of a created being that had just escaped a little over a month ago.... The only emotions she's showed me so far were wonder and fascination at the littlest things.

(hmm...playing around with different personalities and quirks here, so bear with me if my charries seem inconsistant at times)

Jacky
I had been lecturing my characters about their underdevelopement the whole way to Rehab. Crooks was smirking, Annaleah looked...well, like she was politely trying not to protest. "...you have great potential, I just know it, but right now you're just coming off as flat. And boring. And unbelievably inconsistant. This is a life experience that you just have to go through...keep your grades up, get to bed on time, write in your journal...oh, and Annaleah, I packed some extra pens for you, just in case. I know how you are with writing. And Crooks, I swear! If I hear anything about you trying to sneak out, I will come here personally and give you a little talk!"

Crooks had on his charismatic face. "Don't worry lassy, I wouldn't want that, would I?" He said with a smile.

Annaleah was uneasy. That place looked too much like a prison. "Jacky, I'm not too fond of here."

"You'll get used to it. Come on! It's a good life experience." I lead them in.

Rogal grips the bus seat with both hands and glares silently at everyone. Nokia seems relatively anperturbed by the bus, and is bouncing up and down in her seat. I've already finished lecturing them, and ths ilence is stony. As the bus pulls up in the gravel driveway, Nokia and I stand up. Rogal doesn't dare to until it has definitely stopped moving. He reels drunkenly to the front of the bus with Nokia skipping along behind him. I follow, and wave them goodbye when they get off.
"Have fun!" I shout as the bus starts moving again. "Work hard!"

"Wait... you're KIDDING, RIGHT?! You said this was where the character lounge is!" Marley said, glaring daggers at her writer. Endellion just laughed nervously as she pulled the golf cart up to the rehab.
"Welllll... uh... I did it for the lulz, okay?! Never get between a writer and her lulz!" Then Endellion looked over her shoulder at Endellion the character,(this will be confusing) who was just looking around with wonder. Not that Elli really had enough personality to do much more. Endellion stopped the car, turned it off, and put the parking break on "Besides, it's just so you can liven things up, Marley. Characters need lulz too". Marley just got out of the car without another word, the two Endellions following suit

Invisimort: I watched Riddle and August through the rearview mirror of my little beat up car. They'd been fighting non-stop for the past forty five minutes, silently, because I had imposed a quiet rule. T.Mor was in the passenger seat next to me, looking all...betrayed, I suppouse. Rain beat gently on the glass, And T.Mor looked over at me as I checked my mapquest printout. I acknowledged him with an eyebrow raise."Yes?"
"OOH! CAN WE TALK!?! I WANT TO TALK. AUGUST NIMBLY YOU ARE BY FAR---"
"RIDDLE! NO WHERE IN THE LAST PARAGRAPH HAVE I GIVEN YOU PERMISSIONS. And stop smacking August. It's rude." I had to brake the car and turn around to look at the two of them angerily.
" But...You said..." She looked at me, showing no fear...
"I am talking to T.Mor. If you want to talk...Ask. Or...make meaningful eye contact...SOMETHING more than just YELLING IN MY EAR." I said, pointedly before firing up the car again, and turning back towards T.Mor. "You were going to say?" I asked stiffly.
"I just don't understand. I mean...Ok. August I understand. But..." He paused, unsure how to proceed. "Is this becausee of that one time...with the revolt? Are you going all passive agressive on us?" T.Mor asked quietly. I heard the fighting in the back seat die down a bit, Maybe they were...Paying attention? No. It was too much to hope for.
"No...It's not like that at all. This is not a punishment. Really...You would know if this was a punishment...There would be more blood. And gore...and it would be set in the Amnesia videogame. "
"I hate that one..." Riddle interjected.
"Yeah. I never beat it...Scared the crap outta me." I allowed my self to answer that one. There was no yelling.
"So...no. It's not a punishment. It's like...a badly wrapped present hiding under a gorilla.... You don't know what gorillas are..." I nodded to myself in response to their blank stares. Well...August knew what a gorilla was. "Hiding under a philosoraptor then." I amended, and comprehension dawned upon T.Mor's face. Riddle had already lost interest, and was playing on my nintendo.
We pulled into a gravel driveway, and I was unsure whether to get out of the car. "T.Mor...Keep Riddle from...You know...Doing that thing she does." I said, as he got out of the car, and went around back to getthe bags.
"The insanity thing?" He asked, with a sad grin.
"Yeah. You know the one." I joked. I hoped he didn't notice the dead guy in my trunk.
And then they were gone. Up the steps, through the door. I waited for a moment. Nothing. I had just fired up my car when Riddle came running back down the steps. "HEY!! HEY! VISI!! PARK THE CAR...YOU HAVE TO GET IN HERE OR SOMETHING!!!" Riddle yelled at my rear window.
I parked right there in the middle of the drive. "Ok...Lets go." Isaid, stepping out of the car and escorting her back up the steps and into the place..

"I wonder who these other people are?" asked Nokia in naive wonder.
"Cowards," says Rogal. "Heretics."
"So rational people, then," says Nokia. She wanders up to the nearest person and taps them on the shoulder. "Have you seen my brothers? They're about this tall, and look like me, only male. They're called Sony and Dell Fleischer."

Adam: I sighed and walked into the place, which was already full of people. We'd lost Jelsa. I turned to Cassy. "Do you know where she went?"

Cassy shrugged. "She probably left us here." She pointed to the people. "Um, who are they?"

Adam frowned. "I don't know. Why don't you go ask them?"

((Why not have Cassy and Adam talking to Nokia and Rogal?))

(That sounds good.)

Cassy walked up to two people (Nokia and Rogal). "Hey, guys? Do you know what's going on? I'm really confused right now."