The Disability Chat

Peter

She said that as though we had options. Hadn't she mentioned that we were going counter-clockwise around the table? ...Whatever.

"I guess I'll go," I managed. "Um...hi. I'm Peter, and..." I trailed off. If I had ben planning to say anything else, it was all lost shortly after I opened my mouth. Great. "...Er...can I pass, too...?"

Dr Doe
"What an articulate group we are today" I said, but my smile took the edge off my statement "Marley, would you care to write your thoughts down?" Marley just gave me a blank stare for a moment, before scribbling something down. But when I looked from across the table, I saw all she drew were a series of circles. I suppressed a sigh

Peter

I wasn't sure if I should've taken the doctor's statement offensively or not. The words sounded rather scathing, but...was that a smile in her voice? I couldn't tell.

Hold on, Marley was here? Why was Marley here? And...why hadn't she said anything yet? Or...wait...

Delilah
"Oh my God you guys!" I exclaimed. "All of you are so...quiet." I wanted some real interaction with people. "My name I Delilah. He is Kyle." I pointed to the guy on my right. (he ist really there...oh Delilah.)

Dr Doe
"That's lovely, Delilah" I said, smiling again. Finally, a response. "Tell us a little about yourself... and Kyle"

Wolf
A silent group indeed. The latest girl gestures to someone whose not there. My eyes stay on Marley. Can't be real. But I wait for someone to address her and make her real. Something.
The doctor looks sort of hopeless. Stressed. On the fritz. Don't make me talk. I'm afraid if I start I won't be able to stop. Everything's so horrible now. I decide I don't want to hide from sleep anymore. The second I'm getting to my room I'm sleeping. I need him. Need his words, his love, his touch. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. But then...the memories can only end one way...

Delilah
"My name is delilah, I love music and..." I paused. Dad sent me here to get better, right? "I grew up with an abusive father. Kyle was my way away from him...from it all. Until now I have only known a few people in my life. My father, mother, nurse, Kyle, and his mom. My whole life that's all I've known. Dad..he said talking to Kyle now wasn't good for me. So he sent us here. For us to 'get better'." it was nice to open up to someone. Even if it was a group of strangers.

Peter

Why wasn't Kyle talking for himself? And if Delilah's dad supposedly didn't want her to talk to him, why did he send them both to the same place? It didn't make much sense to me...but I decided not to question it. Different strokes...?

((Ah, poor Peter. He has no way of knowing that Kyle isn't real xD))

Dr Doe
I nodded understandingly, already forming a diagnosis and treatment in my head. Cases like this were hard, especially since she obviously didn't want to get better.
"We're glad to have you here, Delilah. Anybody else?" I decided to abandon going in order thing, so many people wanted to skip, there was really no point

Cricket

I glanced around at the faces I didn't know, before shying away under my hair. Another thing I didn't like about this no-hearing thing: it meant I had to rely on eyesight, which meant eye contact. I didn't mind eye contact with people I knew, but with a stranger it felt like an invasion.

Marley
I stood up and left. I mean, why not? There was no reason to stay here with the people I think are my friends, but I have no emotional connection to... where everybody is talking about emotions I don't even have. Without a glance at anybody, I walked out the door, my motions thoughtless, and with a robotic undertone.

Cricket

Something moved in the corner of my eye, and when I turned around Marley was gone. The door closed behind her. Oh bother . . . I glanced to T.Mor and Peter quickly, wondering what to do . . . I don't remember making the decision to follow, but in the next instant I was in the hall. "Marley."

Marley
I heard my name, and paused, turning around and seeing Cricket
'Cricket' I mouthed in response. I had one of those moments where you could practically see yourself, and in my minds' eye, I was standing there with emotionless eyes, my arms limp at my side, and my whole appearance just... seeming like a broken doll.

Peter

I heard someone get up and leave. It was Marley? I got up to follow, relying on the sound of Cricket's footsteps and my memory of walking in. I bumped into a chair regardless, but I still kept going. The door...I fumbled for the handle, opened the door, and headed out.

Marley
'Peter' I mouthed in recognition. My hand twitched, muscle memory, maybe, like I was going to wave at him. But then it stopped moving and continued to hang at my side, like even waving had absolutely no purpose. And this was the guy I used to tackle hug. I tried to remember what that was like, why I would used to do that... and drew up blank

Cricket

My face fell a little, seeing her like that. I slowed in front of her, just . . . wondering if I was dreaming, for a moment. Marley was never like this, she . . . I tried to form words, and followed her gaze over my shoulder to see Peter. "Marley, what . . ." I let out a breath. I was so frustrated with words. They were confusing and untrustworthy and I was sick of them. Hadn't there been a time that I loved them? "What . . . why are you like this? I don't . . ." I walked up to her, gingerly placing a hand on her shoulder, to . . . I don't know, make her react, somehow. "Please, Marley, what's making you act . . . like this?"

Peter

I didn't know why Marley was being quiet, but I knew that it was wrong. It wasn't Marley. Why was...?

I wished that I could see her.

Marley
I looked at his hand on my shoulder for a moment, then back to his face. I was about to ask what he meant, but even I knew that I used to act differently.
'Something' I mouthed slowly. 'Something happened to me' There was really no other way to... articulate it. Since I didn't know the details myself.
One tear fell down my face, and I touched it. There was no emotion, of course... but.. a tear? Like my body was reacting when my mind couldn't. ...I closed my eyes and tried to remember sadness. It was a deep, mellow blue. I felt like I remembered for a second, then in a flash, it was gone. I opened my eyes again
'Is this a sad moment?'

Cricket

Ouch. Words. I puzzled in my mind a moment, trying to sort out that last bit and keep composure at the same time. She was crying, why was she crying? Why . . . why anything? Why was she here, why were we here, why didn't words make sense anymore? Was this a sad moment? Was that what she asked? ". . . I sure 'ope not."

Peter

I felt so...disconnected. It was like I was hearing someone talking on the phone...one half of the conversation. Only, it was like the speaker was in the next room, because I couldn't see anything, either.

"Um..." I said quietly.

Marley
Maybe there was a way I could explain... I opened my mouth, pointing to the tongueless area. The action felt pointless though. But I couldn't even feel annoyed at its triviality. Then I closed my mouth again.
This emptiness... like something's been ripped out of the core of my existence, my very essence... it was a physical feeling. Not sure what kind of feeling, but it was there, in the back of my mind.
'So does that mean it's a happy moment?'

Cricket

And epiphany, Mr. White. All this time I had been talking with a mute. That fact was just a stone added to the burden. This couldn't be happening. It was too bizarre. I took a while forming an answer in my mind. My hand slipped off her shoulder. ". . . no."

Peter

I couldn't take this half-conversation. I just... Argh, I felt so...! I didn't even know what I felt.

"What's happening?" I managed to ask.

T.Mor:

Marley left...Followed by Cricket...Followed by Peter.

Friendship protocol kinda dictates that I go too. Now...Um...How to actually get out of the room...

"Uhm...Hi...I'm T.Mor...And...uhm...I'm going to try driving now..." I stated, pulling up on my brakes.

I pushed and pulled on the wheels, ending up running into the wall behind me. Well...Ok...That...That was a start. After accidentally backing into the wall three more times, I finally managed to get myself lined up with the door.

Oh right. The door. As if I could actually get through it without any mad wheelchair skills...Whatever. I continued rolling, and actually ran into the door frame. That probably would have been painful...If i could have actually felt the impact. "Expletives." I muttered frustratedly.

Was it REALLY going to be this hard just to get into another ROOM? ...Yeah. Yeah. I guess it was. I mean...I just want to go be with my friends...and there's this...stupid...doorframe...just...in my way. ugh.

((So dr Doe, April, and Delilah are still in the room?))

Screwfoot screws his boots back onto his legs, and stands up slowly. "I am Screwfoot," he says to those remaining in the room, "and I have no feet. What else do I need to say?"