One of Those Huge Chats Where Lots of Epic Stuff Happens

Will

What the heck was this guys problem?! I looked at Demetrius, who was wearing a gas mask...a clear sign this wasn't good. "What's going on here?"

Senet

"'Ow much trouble?" I asked the armored guy, firing again.

I wasn't sure that I liked where this was going... But...it was just a gorilla. How bad could it be...?

No, no, shouldn't jinx it.

"Like, uh... Have you ever been hit by a combine harvester travelling at fifty miles per hour?"
Wade spits on the ground.
"'Cause that's got nothing on the gorilla. We've been following it for days: it's probably the second most dangerous creature in the red zone."

Shyker hears someone yelling about bricks and... ice cream? Sauce? Shyker shrugs. He isn't one to judge. He moves closer to the source of the ranting.

Senet

Well...that was good to hear... The most dangerous creature in the red zone. Great. I fired once more, and then a third time to be safe. Then I spotted something else in my sights.

"I zeenk I see ze truck," I called. "Beyond ze gohreella."

Wade drops Will.
He frowns for a moment.
"Is it moving?"
He checks both of his pistols and turns 360 degrees on the spot.
"It'd better be. If the gorilla got Toady then we're fucked."

Senet

"Yes, eet's moving," I answered. Having found the truck, I ran over to the edge of the roof and just kept going right off. I fell (of course), slowing towards the end and landing lightly. "I can show you ze way."

"How do you..."
Wade shakes his head.
"No time. Show me the way."

T.Mor:
"Erm... It's... on...Erf..." I answered... and it seemed... that maybe... we weren't ON Erf.

That was a scary thought.

"MY BRICK IS LIKE RUSTY SPOONS..." Riddle ranted... If I didn't know her better... I would have tried to make her stop it. But... yeah...

Rusty... spoons? Shyker frowns in confusion. Whatever is going on here, they need to get into cover.
"Hey!" he shouts. "What are you doing in a red zone?"

Senet

I started off at a run right away for the truck. "Weend powehrs," I said over my shoulder. "Long stohry."


Amy

Erf...? And then there was a new guy.

"Huh?" I asked, turning. "What are you talking about?"

Wade cocks both of his pistols and spits on the ground.
"Let's lock and load."
He runs after Senet.

Shyker rolls his eyes.
"This... Is... A... Dangerous... Place. There... Are... Zombies. Speak English?"
He speaks slowly, as though talking to the hard-of-thinking.

((Gonna wait for Gh...))


Amy

"Yes, I speak English," I answered, rolling my eyes and feeling wholeheartedly unamused. "And I get that it's dangerous. I just wanted to know the nature of the danger. Which is apparently zombies. Thank you." Completely insincere thank you, of course.

"Also we don't use the zed word," says Shyker. "I just used it to make things clearer."
He reaches into various pockets and produces cheap-and-nasty dust-masks.
"ALWAYS carry these."

Amy

Heh...zed.

"Infection traveling through the air, I'm assuming?" I asked. Gah, there were so many mutations of the original zombie--er, zed--spell that it was hard to keep track of them all. Just like werewolves and vampires and shifters and fairies...so many different kinds.

T.Mor:

Holy...Internet... Zombies? WHAT?

Those were lies like cake.

Weren't they?

I took one of the masks from the guy. " ...uhm... I thought they... er.. were... like... uhm...cake... and...er... canned unicorn meat... ...lies." I asked.

"No, they aren't lies. And yes. Secondarily, it can be airborne. Primarily it is a water-borne parasitic fungal spore that infects a host and waits passively for the host to die before taking a more active approach to spreading its spores. Different mutations cause different basic types. The standard zed can be almost twice as fast and twice as strong as a living human, due to the fact that the mental constraints are removed. However, when operating at peak efficiency they slowly tear themselves apart and start to digest their own bodies. This is why the devour humans as often as they can: to fuel their hosts."
Shyker stares into the middle distance for a moment.
"However, two slight mutations can cause the host to decompose in an unconventional manner, meaning that they either fill up with acid, which must be ejected somehow, or with highly flammable hydrocarbons. Unsurprisingly the parasite has adapted these two mutations to act as weapons. On the upside, neither creepers nor gobbers are as fast or as strong as the normal zeds."
Shyker frowns and looks around, as though talking about zeds might make them appear.
"But there may be other mutations."

((Thank you, Mr Exposition))

Amy

"Ah, thank you for the information," I said. Actual thank you this time. "But save the mask for someone who actually needs it."

This was a slightly more complicated mutation than some others I'd seen...interesting.

"Er..." Shyker smirks. "I think you need it. I already have one."
He gestures to his heavy and awesome-looking respirator.
"Although, technically, I'm already infected, so this respirator is as much for your sake as for mine."

Amy

"No, seriously," I started, "I can assure you...I don't need it. I'm immortal, dude."

I figured that there was no sense in hiding it. I mean, really, there were zombies running around. Seemed like an "anything goes" sort of place to me. And hey, I'd already talked about transport spells.

Demetrius

I looked back at Will and back to the group running away, giving a shrug and running after, Will trailing behind.

T.Mor:

"I'M IMMORTAL TOO. YOU CAN CONFIRM BY WAY OF TALKING TO THE MAGIC BRICK! IT'S LIKE A BRICK...ONLY...NOT ON FIREABLE." Riddle proclaimed... uhm. "HOW DOES YOUR IMMORTAL?!" She asked the other immortal.

"Riddle..." I muttered. It was probably rude to ask questions about other's immortal...ness." Uhm... so... Do I just...er... wear it....all the time then? To er...keep from...being all... infected by...things?" It was kind of odd being the only one who seemed to have to worry about being all... zombified. I mean... a lot of the more scientifical explainy stuff went over my head... but, I got that Bad crap could happen if erm... science. And zombies...yeah. Zombies in the air. Or something. Which was... Bad. Yeah.

((I love T. Mor's failure to comprehend (pseudo-)science. It is lolworthy.))

Amy

"I'm essentially half-demon," I told the crazy girl. Who was apparently immortal and presumably named Riddle. "My core was shaped by a demon core, and I took some demon blood into my body. All by accident, mind you. So I'm immortal now. What about you? You don't smell like angel or demon."

I was surprised by how open I was being about this. But at the same time...it felt kinda good. Refreshing.

T.Mor:

"I CAME IN A BOX FROM THE INTERNET... I HAVE MY OWN SERVER. ALL TO MYSELF. FOR IMMORTALITY AND LASAGNA... IF I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE CYBER LASAGNA." Riddle explained from the floor where she was repeatedly chucking the brick to try and get it to light on fire, I think... I dunno... I just don't even ask anymore with her... It never comes back with a good answer.

"Immortal, eh? Sounds rather useful, expecially with all of the zeds around."
Shyker nods approvingly.