THE THIRD STANDARDISED OCCURRENCE OF VIOLENCE PREREQUISITE TO ROMAN ANTZ (Jacky+Invisimort)

Bells

He pulled away, and I stood up slowly. When I held out a hand for him, T.Mor was picking up a scrap of paper that I hadn't noticed before. It had pictures on it . . .

. . . and he simply stayed there. " . . . T.Mor . . . " How to make this better? We couldn't just stay . . . And then, I saw what the pictures on it were. A house, some fire . . . someone grinning creepily.

. . . the fire hadn't been an accident, even.

T.Mor:

I vaguely registered Bells again. ...Right... we..we were suppoused to be... er... getting out of...here. ...somehow.

Another glance down at the troll face...before I shoved it into my pocket along with the money I'd been able to salvage...

I finally looked away from the ground...and...noticed Bells had a hand out for me... I wondered how long that had been there. I shakily reached out and took it...and stood... yeah.

Part of me wanted to stare at the burning ... and part of me...didn't... so... I just... stood there kind of... uhm... yeah...

Bells

I frowned, feeling sorry once again, but not voicing it . . . I suppose it wasn't as easy for me as it was for T.Mor to say those words. I didn't like to feel sorry for anything, so much of the time I simply didn't. But this was . . . this was different.

". . . Come on, T.Mor," I said, and after a moment laid a gentle hand on his bony back to lead him off. "We can't stay 'ere . . ."

There was something about him right then. I suppose he'd always looked tragedy-stricken. He was little more than a walking skeleton, and had this face and these eyes that seeped loss . . . but I hadn't noticed, not since I was thrown away by . . . aye . . . and he was the only one to care. Perhaps I'd blinded myself, thinking him to be some brave savior. I'd needed someone to be brave for me, but now that was all falling away. And I think I saw T.Mor, really saw him again, for the first time in a long time. He needed me as much as I needed him.

". . . Come on, T.Mor . . . I'm 'ere with you."

T.Mor:

I... I felt a hand on my back... and... for a second I was confused by it... and then, I managed to put the words that Bells was saying together with the.. with the action... and... and things... kind of... made... more... sense... mostly.

"... ... ...ok..." I muttered, letting her take me... uhm... wherever. I didn't really know... I wasn't much... uhm... in a place... to be like... noticing... really... but... it was... away...

And part of me wanted to stay and watch. ... Even if my skin would...kind of... blister...and...And... I mean... I... I...also... didn't...really... want to... uhm, see it... any more... but... ...but some... some part of me... did. Want to... see it.

Even though she was going...and I was kind of...going with her...I also was kind of... like... sort of... not... if that... if that makes... any... sense... at... at all... uhm...

Bells

Part of me wondered what would happen if I weren't here. Would he . . . ?

. . . No, I wasn't about to think about that. So I just started walking with him . . . to anywhere at all, really, not looking back. Just down the street, perhaps around a corner or two, looking. For a moment, I wanted to go back, like if I turned around I would wake up to realise it had all been a bad dream.

T.Mor:

She took us... I didn't really know... away. Away.... from... from... it... away from the government building... just kind of... away. uhm. It was... it was... sort of kind of a little... easier to uh, pretend... to.... that... that things weren't... as... as...horrible... as they were... when... when... when you weren't... um... standing right.... right... in front of it... I mean... uhm.

I still kind of wanted to go... back uhm... to it... because... because.. It... ...it was... it was mine... but... it... really... I mean...

And any time we passed anything on fire... I was... I was right back there...and... and... it was... yeah...

Bells

So there we were, in the middle of some street, and I had no idea what to do from there. So I just slowed and stopped. "Where do we go?" I asked softly.

T.Mor:

...I didn't notice that we were stopping... uhm, until... until we did. And then... and then.. uhm, I... I kind of... had to figure out her question... where did we...go?

Where...could we... go?

It wasn't something I... I really wanted to... uh, not... like... have to think about beacuse... because then, I'd... have to say... for real... that that... uhm, ...happened.

"... ...there's... ...there's a... hotel..." I muttered eventually... after I... like...figured that... that we...uhm, wouldn't be... able to... to move into that.... that other place... until... uhm, later... so...

Yeah...

Bells

"An 'otel?" I thought that over. It couldn't be too safe a place, being here in Auda . . . but then, where else would we go? We couldn't move into the new place. We didn't even have the money to pay . . . I didn't think . . . I bit my lip, and nodded slowly.

T.Mor:

"uhm... ... ...yeah..." I stated... It wasn't terribly... uhm, nice... but erm... it would... work... I ...guess... for... for now... uhm, I mean... for now...

I started trying to push all the... ...uhm... all the bad stuff... out of my... uhm... out of my ...head. ...so.. so we could erm... get there and all. "It's uhm... ...it's... that way..." I kind of pointed a little to what street we should be going towards.

It was... farther from ...uhm...work... but yeah... lots of things... ...were...so... uhm.

Bells

I watched him for another moment, not wanting to rush him away too much, but at the same time . . . if he stood there all night staring into loss, it wouldn't be all that good. That, and I was suddenly tired . . . that feeling you get after you cry a lot, except I hadn't really been crying. I'd just been . . . numb? I reached for T.Mor's hand, blinking the heavy feeling out of my eyes. "Lead the way?"

T.Mor:

It took me... a minute... to uhm... like... sort everything out... uhm... mentally... I... I had to... uhm, I had to...

... ...hotel. Right.

...just...just think about... about... there.... going there.

Bells was...was holding my...hand.

...I... I almost looked at her... but then... I didn't... because... because... it... that's not... it wouldn't... I mean...

...I... didn't... really... know...

Right. Hotel.

Before I could end up on like... another thought process... that was... how... how it...was... I started off... uhm.... clinging to her hand...basically... uhm... yeah...

Bells

We walked off, clutching hands, and finally found the building that looked a bit like a hotel. The thing was crumbling under it's own weight, except for a neon sign above the door.

T.Mor:

We... got to the hotel... My...er....walking there with... Bells... was a bit fuzzy... but... everything kind of was... so... ...yeah...

We... went inside... and instead of like...a room... for like... doing things...there was just a tiny... room with a window with some guy behind it... in another room.... and...and a door...

The guy was really thin...and...and had a beard... and... Yeah. "...Let me guess. One room for the night, paid up front?" he asked after looking at us for a second.

I kind of glanced at Bells.... I couldn't really trust myself to try to...erm...say...words...

I had the money.... uhm... whatever money... I had... so I dug in my pocket to pull that out... uhm... hoping that she'd just...say something at him... yeah... er.

Bells

"You guessed right," I said simply, watching him suspiciously. This place was as sketchy as anything. I suddenly felt at home and on edge at the same time. "Name a price."

T.Mor:

The guy looked up at her specifically after she talked... like... like he was trying to like... figure something out...or...something. "Thirty five... Forty if you want a room with an adjoining bathroom." He said still staring at her.

I counted through what..what I had... gotten...

Expletives. ...thirty five... thirty five a night... would put us... Well... I had 68 at the moment... and... I'd actually wanted the adjoining bathroom... ...because... after... after...what...what... happened... I kind of... was...nauseous...for...some reason...

I wordlessly handed Bells the forty.

Bells

T.Mor handed me some money, which I didn't look down to count. I was too busy watching the hotel guy with the 'Don't try to pull anything, mister, I know your sketchy type' face on. I dropped the money on the counter.

T.Mor:

He took a minute to count the money, and then...walked out a door. ...and then he opened the door that was he door that was... the door in the room....we were in... Which opened up to a narrow hallway lined with doors, and stairs at the end.

"Third floor on your left... third door. Have....fun." He said all... sketchy like... and I didn't really understand that last bit... but... whatever...

I could go upstairs... to our own private bathroom.... and... and throw up in peace... and that... that would do. ...It...would... have to...do... I mean...

No... don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it.

Bells

I watched the sketchy guy leave, and then turned my attention to the actual hotel. It was as beat up on the inside as it was on the outside. Lovely. I looked at T.Mor, wanting to take his hand again, but instead just started leading the way.

T.Mor:

Bells started walking, and I followed her, barely noticing what the place looked like... Except that... that they... they had better...stairs... than I did...

...er... ...had.

And that...somehow... that made everything start up again... all those horrible... thoughts...about how it was...was...gone.. and... I didn't want to... to... think about it but there it was...

Stupid...stairs... being all... how they were...

And...and then... we were in front of our room... and we were inside... and there was a bed...and a door...a door leading off... probably to the bathroom... Which... was... kind of where I needed to be... because... I felt really ...sick...

I gently pushed past Bells... and ended up kind of slamming the bathroom door behind me...which was kind of unintended...but... yeah...

And then...whatever I had actually eaten in the past... day or...whatever, I couldn't remember when I....last... ate... were in the sketch toilet. ...It...didn't really take very long... and there wasn't much...

I... I just ended up sitting there... feeling all... a mess.... like... I don't even... My stomach was still being all weird...and I felt tired...and...nit and... like I wanted to bang my head into the wall repeatedly...and...

Bells

I let T.Mor slip past, tired and blank-faced once again. I was worn out . . . nothing compared to what T.Mor must have been feeling, the poor lad. I tried not to hear sick noises as I sunk down onto the bed. I wasn't feeling too well myself . . . a twisted feeling in my gut. My thoughts now kept wandering back to Ana. It was a shame, really, dying young. Not uncommon, but a shame. Had I been too harsh? She certainly hadn't liked me much, not that that was something I'd been striving for.

And then . . . I wondered if she had a ghost now. I glanced around, wishing for a cigarette or a candle, but knew better than to ask. Not after his house had burned in a fire. He wouldn't want the smoke around.

I drew my knees into my chest, watching the bathroom door and hoping he'd come out soon. The feeling of being alone wrapped around me like a cold night. The sick sounds had stopped. Glancing around again, I slipped off the bed and to the door. " . . . T.Mor?"

T.Mor:

I heard... I heard her... talk... through the door... to me... And.... I kind of...glanced up from...from the place on the floor where I'd been... not really...looking...but...er... like...looking and not actually... seeing anything...

Trying not to think...about...about things... that... that...happened... was...was... really... harder than I... than I remembered...which...wasn't... it... I... yeah.

I... I tried to go "yes?" ... but that wasn't really... made to...work...so it came out kind of... kind of like... "... ... ... ...yreh?" Or... or...something like that.

I kind of felt nauseous again but there wasn't actually anything left in my stomach...so... I just kind of stayed there on the floor... feeling... like...like crap... and bad...and... and... more things that were bad...

Bells

I leaned lightly against the door, pressing my forehead against the wood. ". . . it'll be a'right . . . a'right? I'll make it a'right, th' best I can . . ." I waited, not really expecting a response.

T.Mor:

I...I heard her...talking...about...about it...being alright...about her making it alright. And...And I wanted to...to believe her... I...I wanted to be like...like... 'oh...ok... I'll...I'll be right out...' and just... like... have it be like... like normal or something...only... only... that.... that wasn't going to... to...happen...

And...And suddenly... I... I felt tears... running down...my...face...and...I.. I didn't...want them to be... and... and... I like... swallowed one....one of those noises...that... that people...normally...make... when when they cry.. because...I didn't want to make any noise...and I normally.... Normally didn't... so... ...so... I... like... this was...bad...

I just put my head on my knees and...and tried not to make anymore noise.

Bells

I heard a stifled sob. Well . . . what was there to do? He'd gone in there to be alone. If he wanted to be alone . . . well, as much as I wanted to right in there with him, trying to help . . . it wouldn't help to take away his right to be alone.

"...I'll be out 'ere..." I murmered, and peeled myself away from the door. Sat on the bed. Tried to tune everything out.