broken hearts

Sterling:" can we do it Shannon" I ask her

Shannon: I bit the inside of my lower lip so he wouldn't notice. Why did this have to be so awkward? I looked away as I tried to explain softly, "Remember earlier when we talked? I-I'm not afraid of you leaving if we had a baby...but I'm scared of that responsibility, and I just can't get that thought out of my head. I mean..." I was starting to ramble, I just knew it. My stomach twisted because I was so nervous.

sterling:" its not just your responsibility shannin its also mine i will help you with responsibily "

Shannon: I pursed my lips before I said something stupid, and finally looked at him. I let my expression tell him what my words couldn't, 'I'm just not ready for that...not yet.'

sterling:" i know shannon i know your not ready " i said as i got up from her

Shannon: I grabbed Sterling's arm lightly as I sat up, but I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry? I love you, and...? Those seemed mediocre to me. I released my hold on him, and closed my eyes. I felt horrible, and I wasn't sure why, but I couldn't look at him without feeling somewhat bad.

sterling:" you didn't get me mad shannon so please don't feel bad my love" i knew what she was feeling

Shannon: I glanced up at him, still unsure what to say. "You're not?" I asked so quietly, I could barely hear myself, but he could read my lips. 'Even when I just basically rejected you?' I added mentally.

sterling:' of course not shannon i love you and i understand "

Shannon: 'Just because you understand doesn't mean you're okay with it.' I thought and almost said outloud. I licked my dry lips, wishing I wasn't such a...coward, pretty much.

Sterling:" I'm okay Shannon I am " I said to her as I look her in the eyes

Shannon: For some reason, I hated not being able to lie or hide my emotions. What ever happened to the Iron Maiden...? I asked myself, although I already knew the answer. "All right, Sterling." I said with a smile so he'd know I didn't feel bad anymore. I felt awkward without my shirt, so I reached over to grab it, then I put it back on.

Sterling: I put my shirt back on " so what should we do now?"

Shannon: I thought a moment, "Want to go play some pool?" I hadn't done that in awhile, and I wondered if he had before or not.

Sterling:" sure let's play some pool"

Shannon: I smiled softly before standing up, and taking his hand. I grabbed my apartment keys as I led him out, and down the street to one of the bars. 'Everything's good as long as I don't get crocked.' I thought to myself when we walked inside.

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