Carkley Deviation

FF~

Cricket

The days went by in an odd sort of blur, like I was only awake half the time. You know when the radio fizzes in and out, and you can only hear snippets of the music? Just like that. In and out of a dream, going through the motions, and occasionally I would snap into focus. Realise that soon I was going to be a father to a living, breathing kid . . .

Living, breathing kid. That was a best case scenario, but my mind was a mob of best case scenarios that smothered bad thoughts. Occasionally something horrible popped up, and I'd snuff it out. Wasn't that how Marley's mother . . . ? I didn't think about that.

My mind snapped into focus one night, around the time of sunset. Somehow I found myself opening the door to the room we'd set aside for the stranger that had sprung up into our lives, and there I saw Marley. She looked tiny there, sitting and staring at a wall. Her stomach curved out heavily, looking like an afterthought, something that was spontaniously added to her light frame.

I sighed, and strode carefully to her side. "You feeling a'right, Marley?"

Marley
I sat in a chair, bathed in the colors of the setting sun which were filtering in from the picture window on the far side of the room. My eyes were closed, one hand gingerly atop my rounded stomach, the other hanging at my side. I felt like a cat soaking up the sun. A cat with a stomach the size of a planet. A planet that occasionally shifted as the life in the core of it... stirred. Moved... like a kick, just then. A flutter against the hand on my gut. Man, pregnancy sounded kind of like a horror movie, when you put it that way...

And I had to frikkin' pee again. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?!

...Ahem. Bodily functions aside... there was something growing inside of me, no denying it at that point. I felt it move, I've /seen/ it... I could... I could feel it's soul... tiny and warm. Growing a little every day. It scared me, to be honest... but... it was there. No denying it... I hadn't told Cricket yet, but I wasn't sure until today, until I had been sitting here and concentrating on the feeling... but yeah. Our baby had its soul.

I didn't actually notice him until he spoke, and my head snapped up to see him. A small smile lit my face.

"Yeah, yeah... you?"

Cricket

I felt a smile flicker across my lips. "As long as you're feeling a'right? Aye, aye," I said as I placed a warm hand on her shoulder. And that was the truth. The past few months had been me worrying about her, if anything hurt, if she was sick, yadda yadda, blah blah, oi my my. I didn't always voice it, because I found myself annoying, let alone what she thought of me. Thinking about it, I wasn't sure which might be worse: having the kid, or watching her have to go through it. I heard it hurt . . . a lot.

. . . igh.

. . . Small wince thinking about it. Moving on.

I glanced at her stomach, then back at her face. "Wonder what it's name will be," I said, as if a name would just show up right along with the baby.

Marley:
"I don't know... guess we should start thinking about it, huh?" A slight laugh, meeting his gaze with eyes filled with love. "Hm... should we pick a unisex name, or one for a guy and one for a girl?" I asked, the information about the soul itching to be heard, but I didn't tell him quiiiiite yet. Partly 'cause I wasn't sure how to phrase it, and partly 'cause I wasn't sure if that would be as important to a human.

I really... really hate making distinctions between him and I like that, the human and the habui, especially since I hadn't used my powers in who knows how long. But it was true. I wasn't sure if he would care as much, since he couldn't feel it like I could.

Cricket

"Anything goes. Whatever name we 'appen t' like, honestly, and whatever catagory that 'appens t' fall into will be a matter o' luck." For a flicker of a moment, I felt the uncanny urge to chuckle. Like there was some joke I'd missed somewhere. Couldn't quite place it.

Marley
"Hm... yeah..." I pause for a moment, fiddling with a piece of hair. I still miss not being able to tug on my ponytail... "Maybe something kind of Luna-ish? You know, for roots and because Luna names are pretty awesome?"

Cricket

I broke into a grin at that. "Aye, aye, I like it." I perched on the windowsill seat, pulling a knee to my chest as I pondered that. As much as I hated Luna Nuova, I also loved her and missed her in such an uncanny way. The good parts, like the music and the names. I'd decided long ago I would never take the child to Luna. I myself would probably never go back . . . but I could give him that: a name. Or her.

. . . Aye, holy hell, I was lucky to get out of there, let alone go back.

Oi. That word kept on showing up.

I chuckled, and with a half-joking smile suggested, "What about Luck?"

Marley
I blinked "Luck? Is that a boy or girl name? Or both?" Huh... Luck White... interesting...

Cricket

"Either." I shrugged and rested my chin on my fist, watching her. "But no rush. Plenty o' time to pick something out. 'ell, where I'm from, most aren't named for months after their born, and even then, not by their parents. Or, so I've 'eard...not like I've actually seen too many babies with two parents around. But Luck..." I paused, raising an eyebrow. "Interesting name, there."

Marley
"But don't they make you sign some name on something at the hospital? ...Because for once in our lives, we're using one of those bloody things, even if they are weird. I don't have insides made of steel, y'know. They have good anti pain drugs there, I think" Meh... ever so slightly nervous rambling. Not as much as Cricket does sometimes, but hey...

Cricket

"Aye, Aye, a'right, we're taking you t' an 'ospital," I said, wondering when the last time I'd stepped into a hospital had been. And another wince at the word 'pain' . . . Aye, I wasn't quite looking forward to that step in the process of having a kid, even though technically, it wasn't even my problem. It was times such as those that I was very thankful to be male.

Oi, stop worrying, you twit, she'll be fine.

"Oi my my. 'ow's th' kid doing, any'ow?" I glanced at her stomach. "Been bothering you much?"

Marley:
"Uhh" I followed his gaze down to my swollen belly "Nah but-" There again, another kick. My hand went up to the surface of my skin automatically, feeling the flutter of pressure. Wasn't the most comfortable feeling, but it still made me smile "The baby's just pretty lively, that's all. Moving around all the time"

Now a slight chuckle "Oh, and..." I trailed off, then my eyes lit up a little more "He or she has a soul" I said in a bit of a rush, then paused for his reaction. Maybe this would mean more to me than it would to him, but still...

Cricket

It took me a small moment to register that.

Baby has a soul.

Wait a moment.

I felt like a little kid, the way my face lit up. "You can feel it?" Lit up with . . . wonder, was it? I recognised the feel of that expression, the same one I got every time I saw snow, or those skyscrapers all lit up at night. That was one thing about Habui that I liked to think about: souls. What they felt like, how they could sense them, was simply whimsical to me. Of course, I could never actually understand it.

Marley
I nodded enthusiastically, delighted he didn't brush it off or thought I was crazy for getting excited about this. After all this time, I still wasn't very good at judging the differences between reactions from people who could sense souls and people who couldn't

"It's so tiny right now, but I can feel it clearly. At first I thought I was just imagining it... now I'm one hundred percent sure"

Cricket

"What's it feel like?" I asked, a grin tugging at my mouth.

Marley
Ah. Here comes the tricky part. With all this secrecy and denial and stuff, it's not like I verbalize it anyway... plus I'm pretty crap at descriptions. But I figured I'd give it my best shot, anyway...

"It's like when you know somebody's there without seeing them. Only... a lot stronger. You don't just feel them, you feel..." I struggled for words "Their /essence/. What they're made of and what keeps them alive, beyond their body. I can't read anything off it or whatever... but... I can feel their life, I guess you could say."

Cricket

I was a tad perplexed that as she talked about 'just knowing someone's there', the name that prodded my mind was Tickety. One of those clingy thoughts that stick to your head like bubblegum sticks to the bottom of your shoe. After all those years, that was the memory that pricked me the most: waking up to find her missing, and that feeling of someone watching me that followed. I wasn't quite sure why it was that particular memory. Other people had died, too, and I'd seen things far more frightening than a particularily missing button-nosed girl.

Perhaps because it'd been suici--?

But that was in the past. I was older now. Luna was across the ocean, drowning hand-in-hand with its memory. Of course, I'd never feel quite at home in America, but I'd never felt quite at home in Luna, either. And the baby on the way . . . America would be its home, right there. It wouldn't have to worry about Father's long-dead memories, except for perhaps a gift or two. A story and a name.

"T' be frank, that's amazing," I said. The grin had drooped to more of a wistful half smile. I leaned against the window, glancing at the soft space out there that used to be a sunset. "Wish there were a way I could feel it, too. But I'm lucky t' be so close t' one of th' extreme few people that can, let alone wish t' do it myself. 'ell, it's a miracle we ever met at all."

Heh. Luck. That word again. This time, I actually did laugh. "What do you think o' all this, Marley? Luck, or extreme coincidence?"

Marley
...Wow... I'd never heard anybody talk about my powers like that before. Like maybe they were almost... beautiful in some weird... way, not just evil and destructive. Leave it to Crick to make it sound like one of my greatest shames should be something to be proud of.

Despite myself, I felt a small smile slip onto my face at his words.

"Heh, I don't know... I sure feel lucky. Every day" The smile widened... even though I knew I was being cheesy. But it was true, every day I felt lucky to have met Cricket, to feel like I've done something at least a little more with my life than dying a street rat. Was it just coincidence? Or something else?

Cricket

Right then, a feeling swelled in the pit of my stomach that bubbled up to a chuckle, and I looked to meet her eyes. I loved those moments that reminded me that through it all she still happened to love me back.

There was something else: I remembered a time when I couldn't meet her eyes so easily. I don't think she ever knew how hard it could be for me to let her see my face without shying away, or at least mask it with some joking facade. I suppose that phase eroded away moment-by-moment until I finally cut my hair out of my eyes. I didn't have to hide in front of her anymore.

And besides . . . with my hair in my eyes, I couldn't see her well. "When's th' last time I let you know that you're beautiful?" I asked. Then I tested out that word again, fingers drumming by my side. "Aye...Luck..."

Marley
Now I was blushing and smiling like an idiot... "Oh... er... thanks" I half mumbled, suddenly almost shy at the unexpected compliment. And then he mentioned the name again... Luck. I thought it over for a few moments; and I had to admit, I wasn't crazy about it at first... but the more I thought about it...

Luck White. Our son or daughter... I mean, Cricket and I were both pretty lucky, weren't we? Must have been luck that kept both of us alive all these years, despite everything... despite prejudices and thievery and living on the streets... so why not pay a tribute to that? Give our kid a title with some real meaning? "You know, you may be onto something with that name, after all..."

Cricket

"Think so?" I kept tossing it around in my mind, now smiling broader because she was smiling. Luck White. A soul and a name to match, Luck White. "Per'aps it fits."

I wondered again if it was a boy or a girl. I'd be certain one minute it had to be a boy, as if through some sixth sense I could just tell. Another moment, I'd have second thoughts. Luck White. I tried to pair a face with that name. Boy face, girl face . . . I wondered if she'd have my eyes or Marley's.

Marley
I nodded slowly, thinking of my stomach painted with the word 'Luck' on it in big bold letters. ...Then I blamed that weird imagination on the hormones. Speaking of things caused by the hormones...

"You know what sounds amazing? Pickles and french fries... with apple juice" I murmured wistfully. I didn't even generally like pickles, they were like... zombie versions of cucumbers. But now, they seemed like the best thing in the entire universe, and part of my entire existence was fixated on acquiring pickles, french fries, and apple juice.

...At least it was better than the craving I had for watermelon slathered in peanut butter yesterday... frikkin' pregnancy...

Cricket

I was brought back to earth by the mention of pickles. And that thought caught me off guard, and I laughed again. "Ah...no french fries. Might 'ave some pickles and apple juice lying around, if you want me t' get some."

Cricket

See, I was actually having a pretty good night's sleep. Not the light-enough-to-float-on-water type, where I wake up every couple hours or so, which . . . was pretty unusual. Half the time when I pretended to be asleep, it wasn't because I was trying to be sneaky (even though that's always a lovely time), it's because I used to be asleep, and wish I still were.

Aye. Lovely, undisturbed night. And right in the very early morning hours of that so-thought undisturbed night, that kid was probably laughing his or her unborn lungs out, because honestly, putting a guy's girlfriend through labor on a perfect night like that is the prank of a lifetime.

(To make this more realistic, let's say she slept through the first stages of labor where contractions are nbd and whatever, right into the cool stuff. And ignoring the water breaking, because I honestly can't think of a way I want to write about that xD)
Marley
Being the natural enemy of the dreamweavers always leaves one a little wary when it comes to the subject of dreams, so the eerily vivid ones I had been having lately- side effect of baby hormones- weren't exactly thrilling. I was having one of those dreams that night, in fact, as I lay as curled up next to Cricket as my absurdly huge stomach would allow.

It wasn't a new dream, in fact, I had heard it was a really common one among expecting mothers. Basically, in involved the little monster tearing its way out of your stomach, like something out of a horrible Twilight movie. Granted, it was better than the one about my own mom that had been frequenting my nights more and more as I got closer to the due date... but still, not many things are more disturbing than watching your baby rip through your gut like an alien.

I woke up, slightly panicky as per usual. But then I noticed that all the pain wasn't gone yet... in fact, it struck my lower gut quickly, and I winced. ...There was a long pause, and I decided it was time to get back to- nope, again. It was accompanied by an ache in my lower back, and I thought about waking Cricket up. After all, what if something was wrong with the baby?

...The baby, the bab- another pain, which my mind finally labeled a contraction, hit me like a wave. "Crick" I whispered urgently "Cricket, wake up"