Wishing stars

"What if I told you I've slept with more than half the girls in our class, single and not single alike. Barely got away from being arrested a good couple of times. And have thought about drugs more than once." Ryder was still walking, his shoulders slumped as if he felt like scum. He did though. Bad part was he wasn't sure he was ready to give up that life.

"Dumb decisions," Lucia said. She hated the way she thought, but she couldn't help seeing the best in him. Even after hearing all of the things he had done. And second... What had made her so unqualified to sleep with him!? Woah... Okay, no more freakouts.

Ryder glanced at her and shook his head. "You are way to good of a person." He muttered, his hands digging into his pockets for his pack of Marbalos. Women. So confusing.

Lucia could stop the surprised laughter that escaped her throat. "I'm glad you think so," she said. She hadn't always been so squeaky clean, but she needed the appearance to be lasting. She didn't want to relive some of her highschool years.

Ryder glanced at her...Ah screw it. He was a bad guy. He was never going to be anything more than that. He turned, cupping her face in his hand and kissed her deeply, pressing her up against the wall. Sure, he could have resisted. But this was better than a Marbalo...maybe...and it would only prove his point to her.

Lucia's hand traveled to his neck as she kissed him back and then snapped out of it, pulling away a little. "This isn't helping anyone," she said, her hand sliding away. As much as she wanted this, she knew he didn't mean it. He had never shown interest in her before, so this was probably something to do with being bad.

Ryder shrugged and stared at her, his deep eyes holding hers. "It's helping me." He muttered but let her go, taking out his pack of Marbolos and lighting one up and walking back down the street, a small trail of smoke following him.

Lucia stood there for a second, her mouth slightly agape. She started determinedly toward Ryder. "Okay, what the hell?! That was not proving any point except that you can be a douchebag," she said, her voice filled with acid. The fact that he didn't realized that she actually liked him, like she had throught high school, was annoying. The kiss was just enough to make her eyes brim with tears.

Ryder turned and pinned her against the wall again, dropping his cigerette to the ground, his deep eyes boaring into hers. "Or it could be, that I actually might like you, concidering you're the only one who didn't think I was such a bad guy. Obviously I was wrong in believing you." His voice was low, and soft. Her words had cut him deep and he didn't even know how she had managed to get her fingers in that far, when he had hardly known her. Sure, he knew who she was, watched her all through grade school and highschool. Even thought about talking to her a few times. Trying something. But he figured reputation would follow him, and he didn't want her in anything she would regret. He softly kissed her cheek and then backed off, before he turned and disapeared around the corner. What had first started out to be a way to prove a point, was now just a stab and jab at the emotions he had tried so hard to conceal. Great Gaia what was he going to do with himself.

Lucia slumped onto the ground, her hand covering her mouth. As soon as he had disappeared, the tears started to form more freely, running down the sides of her face. He couldn't have actually liked her. He would have shown it, wouldn't he have? Only if he was a shy as she was, would he have hidden it. Her free hand curled into a fist and she stood, stumbled back to her car, not able to keep her composure any longer. She laid her head on the steering wheel, hard sobs shaking her body. She had been so stupid! She shouldn't have called him a douchebag, something else would have worked. Now, she was stuck here on a regretful stage and she couldn't see any curtains to hide behind. Lucia started the car and started home, trying to keep the ever allusive Ryder off her mind, but she could tell, it wasn't going to happen. They were emotionally broken and only together, would they have the tools to fix themselves. Maybe she could try to find him number and reconcile... Or maybe that was just going to make things worse. She pulled into her driveway and sat in the car, her cell phone in hand. She just stared, though, waiting for something to happen, a sign to be shown, a path to be revealed.

Ryder had debated going home, but had decided against it. Instead he stopped by Lucia's house, for no logical reason. He knew where it was, only because as kids they had road the same bus together. They had actually been pretty good friends in grade school. Not besties or anything, but friends. He crept through her backyard and up to the windows until he finally found her room. He looked in, no one was there. He thought about leaving, but for some odd reason he found himself climbing through her window and sitting in the chair at her desk to wait for her. What would her parents say if they walked in instead of her?

Lucia stopped staring at the idle phone and got out of the car. She started toward her house, wiping away the tears. She walked inside and slammed the door a little. She walked into her bathroom, scrubbing her face off and letting her hair down. She pushed her sleeves up to her elbows and started into her room. Automatically, she saw the back of someone's head and yelped, only to realize who it was. Ryder. Here. Why? "What are you doing here?" She asked. She sat on her bed, her back against the corner of the wall and her eyes watching him carefully.

"Do you really think I'm a bad guy? I mean...I don't know what I mean." Ryder shook his head staring at her. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm here. I just...just am. Needed to talk I guess. I'll go." Great Gaia he sounded like an idiot. With less suave than he's ever had in his life, he got out of the chair and went towards the window, all of the sudden unable to be coordinated in any way, shape, or form. It was really quiet annoying. Especially since he had once been the best there was on the football team.

Lucia hopped off the bed, hesitantly walking over to him. She paused for a minute and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his chest. When she pulled back, her face was a light pink. "You're not a bad guy. And I don't mind that you're here... We needed to talk," she said, biting down on her lip gently.

Ryder sat there stunned for a moment and looked down at her. What was he suppose to do now? The only physical contact he had ever had with a girl was when he had her in a bed. Unless you count Lou of course, she would never let him get her anywhere near a bed, yet they were still close-ish. Kinda like a brother and sister...most days..at least the days that she wasn't hitting him like a punching clown. He wrapped his arms around her a little hesitantly and relaxed, and gulped. The phrase "we need/needed to talk" always came with some sort of bad news. "Um..ok. A-about what?"

Lucia slid away from him and laid on her bed, watching him. "Why did we stop talking?" She asked, her tone quite serious. They had been friends for a while as grade schoolers and then something happened after that sent them apart. This was the first time they had ever been in a serious conversation and she planned on making it worth her time.

Ryder resumed his seat at her desk and shrugged. "Summer came and when we came back we were just...different I guess." He muttered. Truth was, that was the year he had finally snapped and decided he just didn't care about life any more. Not that he did now, but still.

Lucia nodded, then pursed her lips, sitting up and running a hand through her long hair. "This shouldn't be so awkward..." She mumbled to herself. She just wanted to be friends again... Well, part of her wanted so much more than that, but it was probably never going to happen. "Earlier. When you said you might like me... How much was a lie? Don't spare my feelings, please," she finally said.

Ryder gupled. Crap. She said the word feelings. "None of it." He muttered watching her. He thought about kicking himself right now. He didn't want, nor need someone hanging on him constantly. But he couldn't help it. She believed in him and he didn't want to disapoint the one person who actually seemed to care about him for something other than his goods.

Lucia looked straight up at her ceiling, preventing the few tears that had collected in her eyes from escaping. She looked back down at him. "That's all I needed to hear," she said. "You can leave if you want to." She looked down at her legs and took a deep breath. He might like her. And that wasn't a lie. She was just happy that he hadn't lied to her just to make her feel worse.

Ryder watched her carefully. She looked like she was about to break or something. He hated it when girls cried. "Is everything ok? Did I do something wrong?"

Lucia took a deep breath. "No, everything's fine," she said, smoothly. "You didn't do anything wrong," she said, pulling out a small smile, her full lips curved up.

Ryder watched her carefully for a minute, not fooled by her ruse, but decided that she probably just wanted left alone. So he stood and quietly went to the window, finally regaining his "smooth moves." He glanced back at her, which was the wrong thing to do. Why? Because he tripped and fell head first out the window.

Lucia's eyes widened and a scream left her throat. "Ryder!" She rushed out her door and ran outside, to wear her was laying. Instantly her cell phone was in her hand, ready to dial 911. "Ryder, do you need me to call an ambulance?"

Ryder groaned and pushed himself up. "No. I don't think anything's broken. Except maybe my manhood." He held his head as it throbbed, spinning the whole yard. He forced himself to a standing position and swayed slightly. It was just as bad as a hang over, only without the sickness.