GxE: awesome assassin lovin'

Griffin

She totally is stubborn. She can deny it all she wants, but she's stubborn as hell.
"Nope. Guess I don't." was my reply, smirking at the listening comment. I do listen. It's my job to listen. If you don't listen, you can miss out on a lot. Yet, with Esmeralda...I listened more intently than with others.

I finished tying up her wound, my fingers running over it afterwards. I looked up at her face, still kneeling.

"Princess...where do we stand?"

Are we friends? Still acquaintances? Everything seemed...difficult.

Esmeralda

I froze, the meaning of his words flashing through me.
Where did we stand?

I didn't care for him. I couldn't. If I cared for him, he would get hurt.
I couldn't let that happen.
But... Ididn'twanthimtogo...

I stared at him, my confliction probably clear across my face. I didn't try to hid it. Despite my efforts, he always saw right through me.

Whatdo?

"We don't. I do believe you are kneeling," I replied weakly, eyes begging him to drop it.
I didn't want to choose. Please... God, don't make me choose.

Griffin

Zing.
She got me. Though I had a thought that she knew I wasn't being literal.
I stood up, grunting a little. That damn bullet wound. I guess a week isn't long enough for something like that to close up.

Then another long silence.
That happened too often.

Seems, at times, we would be at a loss for words. A silent conversation going on between our gazes. What would I say? She seemed torn, and confused. Maybe a little conflicted. I felt the same way, that is why I wear this mask. Sure it's uncomfortable at times, but it guards me. Prevents others from getting to close or reading my expressions.

"I am not kneeling now. And I think you know what I meant. What is...our relationship?" I asked, choosing my words carefully.

If we even had a relationship. ... If she even wanted a relationship.

He pushed it.
God dammit, why didn't he just let it go? Why did he have to do this?
...
...
...
I stayed silent for long time, yearning for my cloak, yearning for something to hid behind. But my security blanket was currently in shreds around my chest and on the ground. I really needed to start carrying gauze.
Finally I managed a half coherent response.
"You've.... you've killed me... in the past... for money. But... you saved me..."
Saved me why though?
"I suppose... I suppose it's nullified.... the past is the past... Thanks."
Alright,so maybe that wasn't what he asked. Not even close. But it was an answer. A vague one at that, but an answer none the less.
Now drop it, dammit. ....Please.
I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing my hair wasn't pulled back in a braid do I could hide behind something, anything.
I stared up at him for a long, painful moment, my eyes drifting to his wound.
My fingers twitched as I held back the urge to pin him down and make sure he was okay. But I couldn't do that, I couldn't show him that I cared. I couldn't give him a reason to stay.
I bit my lip, eyes dancing back up and lingering over his face before turning to walk away.
He was back. Thank God.

Griffin
...
That wasn't an answer. That was a completely different subject. Why does she always dance around questions like that?
Wait, woah.
Is she walking away?
Crap. She always did that. Always walked away.

"C'mon, man, what was that!? You can't just let the ladies walk away. Ya gotta run after 'em, embrace 'em, tell 'em they're special. Heck, give her a smooch!"

Heron. You little bastard. First you try to scam me into buying overpriced fireworks and tell me to go after Esmeralda, then you shoot me. I guess that's what The Order does to kids like him. Warps them until they aren't sure of what to do anymore.

I watched her walk away, not sure of what to do. So, I took the brat's advice, just for laughs.

"You are...special." I called out, my voice low and quiet but enough for her to hear.

I froze, again, his words washing over me.
Why did he do that to me; cause me to freeze up and doubt every last move I intended to make?
He... he called me special...
I've been called special before, by another man. But it was different. His words were just that... words. I knew not to believe a thing he said.
But Griffin... he was different... I trusted him.
Whydidhecallmethat?

"And you... you're a fool," I croaked over my should, finding myself unable to take a step further away.

Griffin

She is so difficult to talk to at times. I did not understand it. I had grown to trust her, even care for her.
But she was still annoying.
I was about to say something corny, like,"I'm a fool for you.", but decided against it.

"I guess I am. We are all fools at some point." I replied, turning my eyes away.

I couldn't watch her walk away again. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to follow her, either.

Esmeralda

"...Your chest... is it okay?"
Gah, I should be walking away. I should be leaving. But I had to know, just to make sure. If I was going to force myself to be alone, I could at least appease my thoughts. That's all I was going to have. That and a lonely silence.
I kept my back to him, not wanting to meet his gaze for fear he'd further weaken my resolve.

Griffin

"Hrm? Oh. That. It hurts a little, but I'll deal with it." I answered.
Truthfully, I did not expect her to ask that. I thought she'd just walk away once more, leaving me with my muddled thoughts.

But I...didn't want her to leave. I wanted her to stay, and even silently asked the Author's to keep her here. I mean, where else would she go? Night would surely come, and she'd freeze. This box was different than the other. It seemed smaller, and more deserted.

I almost wanted to beg her to stay, beg her not to let me be alone. I knew that those men would chase her again, and was slightly frightened that I would not there to protect her.

A sudden gruesome image came to mind. Esmeralda. Dead in a ditch. Frost covering her body, a pool of blood in her wake.
...
.....
.........
I have to make her stay beside me. But how?

Esmeralda

I swallowed hard. "...Good."
Alright. I had my closure. He'd be okay. Time to start walking again.
...
Anytime now.
...
No time like the present.
...
You're killing daylight here. Seriously. One foot in front of the other, how hard is that?
Well... very hard, when it brought me away from him.

I clenched my haw, locked in my spot, back to him.
...
"Bandage yourself, k? ....Please... please take it easy... and... thank you..."
One foot in front of the other. One step....two step... three step. Slowly but surely, I forced myself to put distance between us.
I didn't care. I couldn't.

(I think we might need more handy walls soon xD)

Griffin

I wanted to run after her. I wanted to whip her around and yell at her to snap out of it. But all I could bring myself to do, was stand there, watching her back grow farther away.

"Don't go..." I whispered softly, wondering if she would even hear it. My hand seemed to lift on its own accord, reaching out to her, as if reaching out from twenty feet away would do any good.

Why should I care? If she wanted to leave, then I should let her leave. That just means...means she doesn't want me around. I suppose I can't blame her. I'm a killer. I do anything for money. How could she like me, if I didn't even like myself?
.........................................................................................
Come back...

Esmeralda

I faltered, the wind carrying over words I couldn't make sense of. Or at least, didn't want to make sense of. For if I understood them, if I really heard him right.... Well, I might just have to obey. And I can't do that.

I let my hair down, dipping behind it and quickening my pace till I was surrounded by stillness. Empty, cold stillness.
...
...
...
...
...
I don't care.

Griffin

......Hmph.
That went smoothly.
What now? I do not have anything to occupy my time. Dove's usually with me, but now she is gone. The Order has been quieter, and with not as much contracts issued. I hadn't even collected any money for a whole week, due to my death.

And now, Esmeralda was gone. And I was stuck in a box. Without her. She left.

I was used to being alone. But the eery quiet and emptiness of the box made me feel as if I was dead again. No noises. No people. Just me. I wish Esmeralda had stayed...
........
........Maybe I should go after her...?
Nah. She doesn't want to see me. I should just let her be.

I leaned against the wall, tugging my hood further down to shield my eyes. I then scanned the box once more, then let my eyes drift closed, not able to take the pure aloneness, with no way out.

Princess. What have we gotten ourselves into, eh?

Esmeralda
And just like that- I realized I was alone. I don't mean the type of alone you are when you have the house to yourself. I mean the utter emptiness you feel when you realize there's only one tooth brush in that bathroom. There's only one set of keys for the door. Only one side of the bed is slept on.
I had no one.
Part of that was my fault. I had no one to blame but myself. But the other, much bigger part was their fault. The people I'm running from. My people.
They forced me into this. They forced me to leave behind... everything. My whole life, everything I knew. Granted, my life wasn't much to begin with. But still...
I wasn't alone then.
Now... now it's all gone, and I'm forced to leave the one person I care for behind.
The thought felt like a knife struck my very being. Struck it and slowly carved out my meaning in life, leaving me with a cold, destitute, black hole of nothing.

My legs gave out from under me, leaving me to lay face up on the stiff, unyielding ground.
At least he's okay...

Emmeline

Maybe. He said maybe. Maybe I'd see him again.
Gah. I knew that was it. I could see it in his eyes.
Friend my ass.

...What did I do wrong?

Sigh.
Well, that was fun while it lasted.
A ninja.... I fucked a ninja... Now that will be something to tell the grand-...
I bit my lip, feeling like I just slapped myself in the face.
It's just an expression.
Yeah... well... it's stupid.

...Iwishhehadstayed.

Out of all of them, I could picture myself settling down with him. I mean... he seemed... nice. He cared... Correction. He cared about her.
I was just the distraction.
But that's alright. I'm pretty darn good at it, if I do say so myself.
...Justnotgoodenoughtoconvincehimtostay...

I walked into the box, blinking as I looked around. This one seemed different. Smaller.... and more empty.
Wait! It's not empty, I see a cloaked figure right over- ...
Wait. Is that who I think it is?

I tentatively made my way over, leaning up against the wall besides him, just like I did when we first meet.
"Hello, stranger."

Griffin

I heard footsteps. Was she back? Had she changed her mind? ...was she being stupid? She can't come back. I realize that now. Yes, I care for Esmeralda. Yes, I wanted her to stay, wanted to just...keep her in my sights. But...it would turn out to be just another Marie. The Order would screw me over, and everything will go back to a repetitive life only filled with killing, and maybe a few Manwiches.

I've tried before to run away from it all. To be able to settle down. But, I can not escape from all this debt. My parents had hit the jackpot, and they were consumed by greed. They went overboard. Since The Order is the government, Dove and I were forced to join to pay it off. It is high paying. But not easy.

I can't even love a person outside The Order. Or else...they'll be murdered. And we get beaten everyday. Even worse for Dove. Falco experiments on her and Orion has even raped her. I don't know how she keeps herself together. She acts too strong, too silent.

So I didn't budge after hearing the footsteps and I kept my eyes closed, hoping it was Esmeralda, but at the same time...hoping it wasn't. With me, she'll get killed. Without me...she'll get killed by her chasers. We both seemed to lose either way.

Then, I heard her voice. Emmeline's voice, not Esmeralda's. Having her here didn't exactly help my confusion rate lower.

I didn't reply, just subtly glanced at her, staying where I was.

Emmeline

Ouch, the silent treatment. Guess that means he regrets it.
Talk about a blow to the self esteem. I mean... I liked it. He.... he seemed to like it.
But... then again, he is a ninja... he can act...

...
I almost turned and walked away, except... I didn't want to leave it like this. He was different.
...
"I'm sorry."
Whoa. Where did that come from?
Eh... I suppose it's true... I had felt the feelings they had for each other. The tangible tension... But yet they denied it. I didn't push it though, I was just glad for the company. I knew he'd leave like the rest. After all, I was only a distraction. And there would be conicinces for him, for our time together. Just like all the other bastards that used me as an escape, he'd was bound to get his due with karma, while I got his company.
I used him. He used me.
I really needed someone. Still do.

I was being selfish. I tend to be that a lot. But you know what? To hell with it. I have every right to be.
But still... I felt bad. He didn't talk much, but I could feel there was a story behind the stoic silence; a reason behind it all. I took advantage of him. I used him... Why did I feel like he deserved better? Gah. I should have just walked away.

Griffin

...huh.
She's sorry. I saw no reason for it. It was just her lifestyle, and I wouldn't question that. She was a nice girl. I should be the one to say I'm sorry...I had used her. Used her as an escape from everything. Just one little sliver of a passionate moment, to forget all my problems. And just...be with someone. I missed that feeling. Missed having someone to hold.

Despite the....things that have happened between me and Emmeline, I could not seem to get Esmeralda out of my head. The lingering thoughts of "Is she okay? Has she been drugged again? Does she need me?" always stayed. I guess I was a douche for using Emmeline as an escape. But it was so darn good.

"Don't be. Nothing for you to be sorry for." I said, looking over and watching her carefully.

Emmeline

See, different.
I held back his gaze, fixing my torn sleeve and tilting my head, this morning's scuffle with my step-father all but forgotten about.
"...Are you okay? Haven't seen you around..."
I don't know why I added that last part. I know exactly why he hasn't been around. His disappearance shouldn't shock me. His reappearance on the other hand left me...hopeful...

Griffin

I can not think of how to answer. Telling her I died would only be confusing. Death is not meant to be reversed.

"I'm fine. Been busy." was my steady reply, my eyes flicking over to her torn sleeve. I felt a slight curiosity as to what had happened, but let the subject go. If she wanted to tell me, then fine. If not, that's her business.

Did she want something? Oh, wait. She probably did. And I think I know what it is.
...
.......
..........
I...er...think I have pretty much gotten myself in a complicated situation. Shit.

Emmeline
"Busy...right." I sighed, totally getting the vibe.
I should just... go. Right. Going was something I should have done from the start.
He's different, sure. But... I should have known better. No one would stay for me. Gah, wishful thinking.
I didn't say anything, I didn't have anything to say. I turned, my emotions probably playing out across my face, but whatever. It's not like I'm ever going to see him again.
"Yeah, well...have a nice life..."
I bit my lip, trying to walk away with what little dignity I had left. Which wasn't much.

Griffin

Okay. I am seriously starting to hate watching women walk away from me. Their faces pained. Their eyes unreadable. I should just stay away from females from now on. Their emotional urges to run away were too annoying, making me feel too guilty.

It didn't hurt watching Emmeline walk away as much as it hurt when Esmeralda did, but it still hurt nonetheless.

I set my hand on her shoulder, determined to tell her one last thing before she left me."Emmeline. I ask you to not hate me. I apologize for any way I have wronged you." I said, watching her tensely, letting my hand drop so she could go.

Maybe I did want her company. Maybe I did want her to stay, so I wouldn't be left alone with my thoughts. I wasn't sure of myself. Which angered me.

Emmeline

I stared at his hand on my shoulder, taking in his words, a small, tiny light of hope filling me.
...He was so different. Maybe...
I turn, pulling him to me and slipping my arms arms around his neck, pulling away the cloth to reveal his face.
I pressed my lips to his, kissing him slowly, desperately, sweetly. My fingers embedded themselves in his hair and I deepened the kiss, trying to convince him to stay. Trying convince him he needed me too.
I was so selfish. But I didn't care.
I quickly kissed across his jaw line before moving back to his lips, begging for a response.

Griffin

...................................................................Not helping.
Not helping at all.
I mean...kisses. They should be saved for a person you truly care for. But they always seemed to make everything dissipate. To make life seem to melt away, your consciousness only able to focus on the other person.

I didn't kiss her back. I didn't pull away. One of my hands rested on her hip, but that was really all I did to acknowledge it. I was so torn. So unsure. I wanted to dive into Emmeline's kisses headfirst, just so I could clear my mind. Focus on something else for a change, and not how crappy my life was.

....Besides. Esmeralda. I remember her face when she first saw Emmeline and I together. she looked hurt, and betrayed.

Yet she also said she doesn't care for me. So shouldn't I believe that? Shouldn't I not feel this slight, rumbling bubble of guilt forming inside of me? Esmeralda didn't care. She didn't want me around. So why couldn't I just focus on Emmeline?

So many unanswered questions. So many complicated factors.

Emmeline
Any guilt I felt was long gone, desperation now filling me.
Kiss me back, dammit. Need me. Please. Give me a purpose. Give me a reason to still be standing here under this godforsaken sky.
Kiss me.
I let my hands drop and drift up under his shirt to his chest. "You seem troubled... let me help?" I murmured against his lips, painfully aware of his unresponsiveness.

Griffin

I wanted to let her help. Wanted it so badly. Feeling Emmeline brought back memories. Made me thrive for Marie once more. But...along with those memories also came heartbreak. Things were even worse, now. I think I should just let it slide. Esmeralda doesn't care. She said so herself.

If I let this continue, Emmeline would end up getting hurt. Or worse, assassinated. But I couldn't help it. I felt myself fill with a selfish desire, an excitement as her hands touched my bare skin.

So. I faintly kissed her back.

Only one thing threw me off guard as I leaned into it, gently tugging her closer.

...sniff.
That's not cinnamon.