Wishing Stars deviation

Ryder took a deep breath and sighed. "Will you eat with me anyway?" He asked as he stopped the swaying and gently pulled her towards the kitchen.

Lucia followed after him, slightly uncomfortable, not wwanting to even think about eating. She leaned against the counter, watching him quietly, her eyes carefully guarded. She didn't want to eat. She stared at him, then sropped her eyes, looking at the floor, an undeniable sense of shame washing over her.

Ryder thought about cooking something but then thought it would be safer to just heat up some left overs. He reached into the fridge and pulled out some lasagna and popped it into the microwave and then brought it over to where Lucia was when it was done. He sat it on the counter with two forks and sat on the bar stool next to her, pulling her close to him. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked as he held her.

Lucia seemed to snap from her daze and noticed that his arms where around her. When did he do that? She couldn't even remember. She leaned against him, trying desperately to recall his question. Once it hit her, she nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine, why?" She asked, cocking her head slightly at him. Her green eyes were slightly tired as she watched him, like her day had been extremely eventful.

Ryder watched her carefully, his eyes searching her face. "You just seem...distant," he said after a moment. He kissed her gently and wrapped his arms around her before grabbing a fork and handing it to her. "Eat some with me, please?"

Lucia kept her head down, staring at the fork like it was her worst enermy. She couldn't tell him she wasn't hungry again. The persistance in his voice made her feel shamed about not eating. She nodded, taking a deep breath, and trying not to look at him or the food, took a bite. As soon as she swallowed, it felt heavy like a rock in her stomach.

Ryder watched her closely, expertly making it seem as though he was eating, but only actually taking a bite when she did. He didn't want to be full when she wasn't. So he decided he'd just eat her portion size and be happy with it.

Lucia was into her fourth bite and as she drew the fork closer to her motuh, her hands were shaking, lightly at first, but closer to her mouth, it was more violent. Tears were welling in her eyes, threatening to go over, but she wouldn;t let them. After a moment, she forced the bite into her mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly. She didn't want to make it take any longer than she had to.

Ryder finally set down his fork and watched her quietly, his finger lifting her chin up so he could see her. His eyes stared into hers, searching for answers to questions he was to afraid to ask. "What is wrong?" He asked quietly.

Lucia swallowed hard, shaking her head after a moment of thinking. She didn't want to have to tell him. She didn't want to tell him that she never ate. She didn't want to tell him about the nights she'd tried to make herself throw up. She didn't want him to find out obout the healing wounds on her hip and thigh from where she was trying to get control of her actions. She didn't want to, but she did. All of the thoughts seem to spill from her lips and soon after, she was sobbing heavily.

Ryder wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. He didn't know what to say, so he just stayed silent as he rocked her slightly, rubbing her back gently. "Hey," he said after a moment between soothing, comforting sounds. "Hey, it's ok. We'll work through it alright? It's going to be ok. I promise."

But Lucia didn't want to. She didn't want to stop hurting hersef like she did. It made her feel in control of her life, which was otherwide chaotic. She liked the bite of a cold razor in her skin and letting her worries flood away. She didn't want to eat. She didn't want to look out of the part that she was supposed to play. She needed to be perfect.

Ryder kissed her forehead gently and sighed, wishing there was something he could do. But it wasn't like he had much room to talk, the constant sting on his wrist reminding him of his own problems. He felt the need for a cigerette rising in him again and he tried to think of a way to occupy her so she wouldn't know. He sighed, finding her lips and kissing her deeply as he held her tight.

Lucia's body seemed to instantly buzz as he kissed her and her mind burned with relief. Her fingers drove into his hair as her lips pressed to his hungrily. She turned to she was completely facing him, the pressed herself to him without a second thought. Distraction was welcome.

Ryder kissed her back as he slid off the bar stool and swept her feet out from under her. "I love you," he murmered. "I'll always love you, no matter what." He carried her to his room in the bridal hold, loosing pieces of both his and her clothes on the way. A few hours later Ryder slipped out of the room, leaving Lucia asleep on the bed. He was wearing his boxers as he grabbed his hidden pack of cigeretts and slipped out onto the back porch and lit up, taking a long drag and letting it out with a small sigh of happiness from the relief it provided.

Lucia rolled, waking, her body aching slightly, but it was a feeling of relief. Her sore muscles gave her something else to think about beside being hungry or out of control. She pulled the sheets of Ryder's bed close to her chest and then noticed he was gone from the bed. She didn't fret to much, and soon relaxed, falling back asleep. Her face lost the lines that made her look so worried and so serious. Her blonde hair was spread around like a slightly tarnished halo.

Ryder finished his cigerette and came back inside, hiding the pack. He was just about to head back to his room when he heard a loud banging on the door. He raised a brow wondering what the rudeness of the knock was all about and went to the door to answer it, only wearing his boxers. There, on Ryder's front porch, stood Scott. Scott was Lucia's ex and he obviously wasn't happy. "Where is she?"
"Who?"
"Lucia you asshole! What did you do with her?!"
"What? Why do you care?"
"Because she's still mine!"
Ryder rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he grumbled as he went to shut the door. Scott shoved the door open and as soon as Ryder was in sight, he sent a fist straight into his gut making Ryder double over. Ryder was pretty muscled, but Scott was ripped. He was the football captain after all.

Lucia slid on one of Ryder's shirts and her panties, rushing out to the living room when she was startled by the banging of the door. She saw Ryder doubled over and her eyes went wide as they led up to Scott. What was he doing here? She quickly crossed her arms over her chest and took a step forward. "What do you want, Scott?"

"What the hell are you doing here? What are you wearing?!" Scott growled, advancing towards her. "Why the hell are you with that asshole? You're my girl!"
Ryder tackled him from the side, untamed anger pulsing through him. The boys fell through the screen door that led to the back porch as the sickening sounds of skin on skin filled the air, punches being thrown right and left.

Lucia squeaked quietly as Ryder tackled Scott and she rushed to the door, watching in horror as they pummled each other. Her hand slowly went to cover her mouth as she let out choked sobs and yelps. In the back of her mind, she could help but wondering Scott was drunk or high or something that caused him to think they were still together.

Ryder managed to get the uppper hand after a while, finally pummeling Scott till his nose was broken. "Get out of my house," Ryder growled at him and threw him back towards the door. "Touch her and I'll kick your ass." His fists were shaking with rage, his skin cut in multiple places and starting to bruise, his lip split, a cut over his left eye and a black bruise start to form just under his right. Scott stumbled through the door and to the floor, his eyes bloodshot and his breath smelling of alcohol. Ryder picked him up by the collar and dragged him to the door, kicking him out and shutting the door behind him. He stood there, staring at the door, tensed and ready as if he expected Scott to come back through the door.

Lucia quickly found a washcloth and wet it down with icy water, walking to Ryder and gently touching it to his lip, wiping away the blood and then putting it against the forming bruise under his eye. "I'm not letting you go to school like this tomorrow."

Ryder looked down at her, his breathing still a little ragged from the rumble with Scott. He relaxed slightly, but it took all he had to focus on her and forget Scott and his anger towards him. "Oh ya?" He said quietly, his eyes searching her face.

Lucia nodded, suddenly looking younger. Her small frame was swallowed by his t-shirt, her hair looking longer, more tangled, and her eyes wide. "Yeah. I'm gonna take care you you," she said, resting her hand on his shoulder, then sliding it up to his neck. "I love you. And that was stupid."

Ryder sighed, relaxing as he rested his forehead against Lucia's closing his eyes. "Ya, it was," he murmered. He rested his hands on her hips and kissed her forhead, taking a deep breath as he stared at the empty space behind her. "How are you feeling?"