Wishing Stars deviation

Ryder glanced at her and gave a small shrug. "How do you think?" he asked with a lopsided, half-hearted grin. "Just been skirting through, partying." He didn't sound happy when he talked about it. Come to think about it he didn't even feel happy. He felt...empty. Like something was missing in his life but he had no idea what. "Just trying to get by until I can finally die."

Lucia's hand found his for some reason and she was quiet. She didn't want to hear about his just coasting through and waiting until death. "Youncould always change it," she said quietly. "You could still be happy." She leaned against him slightly, her shoulder touching. She wanted him to know it wasn't about waiting until you died, it was more about making the most with the people you have and having a life you can look back on and smile about.

Without thought Ryder moved his arm so it was drapped around her, his eyes still on the waterfall. He was quiet for a moment, taking in her words. "Wish it was that simple," he finally murmered after a long moment. It never was that simple, especially when it came to his life that was pretty well...over.

"How is it not that simple?" Lucia asked, laying her head against his shoulder. She couldn't understand how someone didn't care so much about their life, but realized she probably had a different view on things. She was raised to fight for things she wanted and change things she didn't like. She was also taught to have a positive outlook on things because as an orphan, you don't get a lot of good.

Ryder glanced over at her and gave a small shrug. "It just isn't. There is no way I can get into a college with grades like the ones I have. And it's not as easy as it sounds to drop addictions..no matter what kind they are." He thought of his many addictions and sighed. "It's just not as easy as it sounds is all."

It made Lucia sad to think about things like that, when people stopped caring. She felt even worse when it was coming from him. She knew he was smart, nearly at the top of their class in middle school. You don't just stop learning. It's in a person. She still leaned against him, her eyes slightly closed. “Want to go watch a movie?” She asked, tipping her head back to look up at him, her green eyes searching his.

Ryder looked over at her, his eyes searching hers for a long moment. On impulse, his lips brush against hers before he slipped down into the water and held his hands out to her. "Sure," he said with a small lopsided smile. He helped her down, letting his arm wrap around her as he turned to the falls again. "Ready?"

Lucia blushed for a second before she dipped back into the water. He had kissed her. With his lips. On hers. And. . . What. She was having a hard time thinking coherently when they first got into the water. The saw under the waterfall and she put her hand on his shoulder until they were in shallower water. She could swim well emough, this was just a bit more fun.

Ryder got her through the pounding water and started toward shore carefully, making sure to go slow so he didn't loose Lucia along the way. He still couldn't believe he had just..kissed...her...He blinked a few times as he tried to process everything that had just happened as he walked up to shore and grabbed their clothes which were dry by now. He wondered how long they had spent under that waterfall...but then again it was a pretty hot day.

Lucia pulled herself out of the water and wrung her hair dry. She wished that maybe she had brought a bathing suit or something, but she hadn’t expected this. As soon as she put on her shirt, she knew that her bra would create two... Noticeable wet spots. She sighed and pulled on her shorts. She didn’t put on her shirt, instead putting it around her shoulders like a scarf. “I hope you don’t mind,” she said, pursing her lips slightly.

Ryder glanced over at her and grinned slightly, shaking his head. "I don't mind. Heck I'll even do it with you." He finished putting on his pants, but left his shirt off and winked at her before he gathered up her stuff and handed it to her. He then took her by the hand and led her back through the trees and to the motorcycle. "What movie do you want to watch?"

Lucia shrugged and followed after him. "I don't really care," she said, looking around at the trees as they walked. His response to her keeping her shirt off made a giggle rise in her throat but she bit it back. When they got to the motorcycle, she hesitated before getting on behind him.

Ryder handed her the helmet and then started the bike. He waited for her to get the helmet on before he started off down the road again, smiling happily at the wind in his hair and the warmth of the sun on his skin. He couldn't help the rush of warmth that also filled him when her skin touched his. He was still a boy after all. It took a lot to concentrate on the road with her shirtless behind him, but he managed, making it to the house with both of them unscathed.

Lucia was shocked to find the by the time that they made it to Ryder's house, her broa was completely dry. She slid off the bike, took of the helmet, and slid on her shirt, looking at him. He was so confusing. He was one of her closest friends at one point and then they just... Broke apart. Now, here they were, spending the day with each other. he had even kissed her... But she didn't know what to make of it.

Ryder put his motorcyle away, it being one of his most treasured possessions. (so spelt that wrong...) He then lead her through the garage and into the house. The first room they came to was the kitchen. It was large with a counter top stove and a dark midnight black marble counter top on deep rich mahogany cabinets. It was very open with a island in the middle and bar off to the side seperating the kitchen and the dining room. "Want something to drink or eat?" He asked as he set the helmet on the counter and trudged across the room to the "chrome" fridge. His parents liked the more modern looks. He, personally, wasn't as fond of them.

"No, I'm fine," Lucia said softly, looking at the fridge. Just the thought of eating made her nervous. She ate, just not in front of anyone. She hated it. Hated it more than anything, more than even being adopted. She glanced around the rest of his kitchen and smiled a little. "Your house it really nice," she said, leaning against the counter.

"It's alright. A little to flashy for my taste, but you know." Ryder shrugged and pulled out two glass bottles of Coke and popped the tops off, waving one at her with a grin. "Come on, humor me." He set the Coke down on the counter and took a deep breath as he looked around the kitchen the emptiness of his life merging with the emptiness of the house. "I'll be right back. There's packages of popcorn in that cupboard there, and if you want to pick a movie they are around the corner and down the hall in the T.V. room." He gave her a quick smile before disapearing down the hall and heading towards his room, undoing the cloth around his wrist as he went. He needed something to chase the emptiness away and at the moment, Lucia just wasn't cutting it. It actually almost made it worse because she seemed to have such a fulfilled life and he had...nothing.

Lucia sighed, taking a seat at his kitchen take, crossing her legs and watching the hallway that he had went down. She rolled the bottle of coke between her hands absently, then looked down. For some reason, she felt a jolt of anxietly and then it was chased by desire. She realized that she wanted him to kiss her again. She wanted to kiss him. But she wouldn't allow it. They weren't even friends. More like... Acquaintances.

Ryder set the cloth on his bed and stared at his thoroughly scarred wrist. It had been a while since he had done something like this, at least a year. But with Lucia there, he didn't want to drink or smoke. He didn't want her to think...badly. Usually he didn't care what others thought. But Lucia was different. She was...light. Life. Beautiful. And that, didn't need to be surrounded by the dark things of his world. Of his existance. So he decided on a quieter, more subtle solution. He really didn't like it because it made him feel like those gay kids you see walking down the hall declaring they are "emo" and that their life is "in ruins." Boy do they have it wrong. If only they knew what it was like to really have your life in ruins.
Ryder didn't complain much though. He had food, a roof over his head, pleasure. Not that any of it honestly mattered. It was all...cold and...lonely. There was no point in it without having someone to share it with. Without that obnoxious little brother that you can't stand to be around but at the same time you can't stand to loose. Brothers like Adam. Now that was something to turn your life to ruins, if anything. Loosing the two things that can take your life from organized and perfect to desolation and scars.
Ryder looked down at his wrist, finding it leaking a soft crimson red while his eyes ached for a volley of tears that would never be relased. He couldn't cry. It wasn't that he didn't want it, it was just that he couldn't. It had become physically impossible over the years. He glanced around and found a few klenexes and cleaned himself up, wrapping the dark cloth around his wrist once more to hide his secret. As he left the room he spared a glance at the picture that sat on his dresser. Adam giving a toothless grin and Ryder pretending to be dead. He sniffled slightly then walked back out to the kitchen, clearing his throat as he got there. He flashed Lucia a grin, acting as though nothing had happened. "Pick a movie yet?"

Lucia looked up from the table sheepishly, and then stood, her eyes a bit wide and he cheeks slightly pink. She threw him a slightly breathless, disarming smile and shook her head. "No, sorry... I wasn't really thinking about what we were going to watch," she said. "Is there anything you'd like to watch?" She asked, stepping a bit closer, cocking her head slightly. One hand was crossed over her stomach, her fingers gently brushing the puckered marks on her hip where she had bured herself so many times. Lucia was raised as a perfectionist, like she always had to be better because she was adopted. She was more chubby as a kid though she wasn't fat, and her foster family made fun of her intensely. She starved herself for a while, but then she felt guilty, so the pain helped her. She returned her eyes to Ryder, batting her lashes slightly.

Ryder couldn't help loose his breath when she did the eye lash thing. Mostly because it made him stare at her eyes and her eyes were...magnificent. "I uh..no. I don't really care what we watch." He said with a shrug as he tried to keep his cool, though he could feel his heart doing 360's in his chest. It wasn't very nice of her to do that to him. He moved a bit closer to her, slipping his hand into hers and lead her to the T.V. room. "You can pick the movie. I suck at picking them."

Lucia knelt in front of the cabinet with the movies in it, picking through them slowly, not really looking. "Really?" She asked, flipping her hair back to look at him with a smirk and an eyebrow raised. She looked back at the move and sighed. After a minute, she picked some action movie and stood, putting it into the dvd player and going to sit on his couch. "Is your expertise only limited in charming the ladies?" She asked, looking at him with a bit of a more coy smile.

Ryder chuckled and sat next to her, making sure to take the corner so that he could prop himself in it. The corner was his favorite part of the couch. He didn't know why, but it just was. "Ah, no. I have many other skills such as mechanics, music, and on occasion, school." He shrugged. "I just choose to do none of them except for the mechanics. That I love to do." He put his arm on the back of the couch as he made himself comfortable, raising his eyebrow at her when he saw the title of the movie. "You like this movie?"

Lucia slid next to him, sinking closer. "I'm pretty ecclectic when it comes to what I like," she said, nodding slightly, her eyes have a hard time staying focused on the names going across the screen. She also looked at him, noticing the hard line of his jaw, his deep blue eyes. Very quietly, she glanced back at the movie. "Hopefully you don't mind me sitting close to you," she nearly whispered, her voice low.

Ryder "spared" her a glance, or more like finally got to look at her, and gave a small smile. He let his arm drop around her shoulder, holding her close. "So now you're using big words on me? I speak stupid, you know." He grinned, watching her instead of the movie. This...was going to be interesting. How was he going to explain this on Monday?